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Monday, October 31, 2011

Humor List - Not our brightest citizens


NOT CLEAR ON THE CONCEPT:

These are actual comments left last year on Forest Service registration sheets and comment cards by backpackers completing wilderness camping trips:

"A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call."

"Escalators would help on steep uphill sections."

"Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness."

"Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands."

"Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals."

"All the mile markers are missing this year."

"Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse."

"Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill."

"Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests."

"Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow in the winter."

"Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them."

"The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals."

"Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights."

"Need more signs to keep area pristine."

"A McDonald's would be nice at the trailhead."

"The places where trails do not exist are not well marked."

"Too many rocks in the mountains."

Funny GIFs of the day

A melting cup and a bored interviewee. 



Thursday, October 27, 2011

Bad singing

I've watched American Idol - and there are some really, really bad singers out there. This guy must have been awful.



CANANDAIGUA, N.Y. (AP) — A western New York man has been sentenced to 2½ years in prison for punching a 79-year-old through a tavern window after complaining about the older man's karaoke singing.


The Daily Messenger of Canandaigua reports that an Ontario County Court judge sentenced 42-year-old Paul Collen Wednesday after reviewing photographs of the injuries the victim suffered when Collen punched him in the face inside the bar at the Naples Hotel during karaoke night last March.


Authorities say the older man's head went through a plate glass window and he suffered a broken nose, facial bones and multiple lacerations.

GIFs - Athletic Ills



Monday, October 10, 2011

Rules for life


RULES LEFT OUT OF "LIFE'S LITTLE INSTRUCTION BOOK" THAT WE SHOULD KNOW:

1. The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
2. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
3. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
4. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
5. Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check out three of your friends. If they're OK, guess what....
6. Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
7. A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
8. It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
9. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
10. If you are given an open book exam, you will forget your book.
11. COROLLARY: If you are given a take home test, you will forget where you live.
12. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
13. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
14. My law: You can't fall off the floor.
15. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
16. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
17. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.
18. Law of Probability Distribution: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.