Another PowerPoint slide show I found on the Internet. Some really interesting pictures. The original had some great music playing in the background, but that does not translate to embedding the slide show here. If anyone reading this knows how to import the music as well as the photos, please let me know.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Somalia Pirate Photos
The Boston Globe has published 30 high quality photos of activity off the coast of Somalia involving pirate activity.
Check them out by clicking HERE.
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Primary Proverbs
The following was stolen from Bits and Pieces - and they hijacked it from someone else. Click the link to check out Bit and Pieces.
A Primary School teacher had twenty-six children in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It’s hard to believe these were actually done by Primary School children. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!
| 1. | Don’t change horses | until they stop running. |
| 2. | Strike while the | wasp is close. |
| 3. | It’s always darkest before | Daylight Saving Time.. |
| 4. | Never underestimate the power of | termites. |
| 5. | You can lead a horse to water but | How? |
| 6. | Don’t bite the hand that | looks dirty. |
| 7. | No news is | impossible |
| 8. | A miss is as good as a | Mr. |
| 9. | You can’t teach an old dog new | Maths |
| 10. | If you lie down with dogs, you’ll | stink in the morning.. |
| 11. | Love all, trust | me. |
| 12. | The pen is mightier than the | pigs. |
| 13. | An idle mind is | the best way to relax |
| 14. | Where there’s smoke there’s | pollution. |
| 15. | Happy the bride who | gets all the presents. |
| 16. | A penny saved is | not much. |
| 17. | Two’s company, three’s | the Musketeers. |
| 18. | Don’t put off till tomorrow what | you put on to go to bed. |
| 19. | Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and | You have to blow your nose. |
| 20. | There are none so blind as | Stevie Wonder . |
| 21. | Children should be seen and not | spanked or grounded. |
| 22. | If at first you don’t succeed | get new batteries. |
| 23. | You get out of something only what you | See in the picture on the box |
| 24. | When the blind lead the blind | get out of the way. |
| 25. | A bird in the hand | is going to poop on you. |
| 26. | Better late than | Pregnant |
A Drunk On The Beach
He confuses his shorts for his shirt. The crowd reaction is as funny as the drunk's shenanigans.
Sometimes these non-Youtube videos don't work well in Blogger - click HERE for a direct link to the site.
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Sometimes these non-Youtube videos don't work well in Blogger - click HERE for a direct link to the site.
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Saturday, August 29, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Doctor Joke
Doctor: "Sir, could you pay for an operation if I thought one was required?"
Patient: "Would you think one was required if I couldn't pay for it?"
Patient: "Would you think one was required if I couldn't pay for it?"
Another Golf Joke
Jim had been playing golf for years. He had the finest equipment, but his technique never improved.
As his new golf partner watched, he teed up at the first hole and promptly drove a brand new ball into the woods.
On the second hole, he drove another new ball into a lake.
On the third, he lost a new ball in another part of the woods.
"Golf sure gets expensive after awhile," Jim said to his friend as he opened a new pack of balls.
"Why don't you use an old ball when you tee off?" his friend asked.
"Because," Jim responded, feeling a bit testy, "I've never had an old ball!"
As his new golf partner watched, he teed up at the first hole and promptly drove a brand new ball into the woods.
On the second hole, he drove another new ball into a lake.
On the third, he lost a new ball in another part of the woods.
"Golf sure gets expensive after awhile," Jim said to his friend as he opened a new pack of balls.
"Why don't you use an old ball when you tee off?" his friend asked.
"Because," Jim responded, feeling a bit testy, "I've never had an old ball!"
Having A Bad Day?
I found this over at Bits and Pieces...
Things Got Ya Down? Well Then, Consider These ..
In a hospital’s Intensive Care Unit,
patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the super natural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 am Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits. Just when the clock struck 11:00 , Kenneth Roberts, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.
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Things Got Ya Down? Well Then, Consider These ..
In a hospital’s Intensive Care Unit,
patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the super natural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 am Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits. Just when the clock struck 11:00 , Kenneth Roberts, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner. Still Having a Bad Day????
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.
Still think you are having a Bad Day????
Betty came home to find Jerry in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.
Are Ya OK Now? – No?
Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany . Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.
What?!? STILL having a Bad Day????
Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn’t pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with ‘Return to Sender’ stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits. God is Good!
There now, Feeling Better, Are We ?
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Plastic Surgery Gone Horribly Wrong
Leenks has posted quite a few images of plastic surgery done very, very badly. There's no indication if the bad surgery is due to compulsive patients or incompetent doctors, but some of these people are hard to look at.
Warning - there is some partial nudity in these pictures - be careful who is looking over your shoulder.
Click HERE to visit Leenks.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Shit My Dad Says
Click on the image to view it larger. enter the URL into your browser's address bar to read more.
Monday, August 24, 2009
This Is Serious and Gruesome
Please don't use your cell phone while driving. I've already been hit once by a guy distracted by his cell phone. A year or so ago a number of high school girls outside of Rochester (near us) were killed when the driver was texting and driving.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Over-Rated Tourist Attractions
I just saw, on a web posting at Yahoo Travel, entitled "U.S.'s Most Over-Rated Tourist Attractions," this little blurb...
Some of the places on my list are well-known tourist traps, but not all tourist traps are a waste of time (the Empire State Building, Mount Rushmore and Niagara Falls are all well worth a look).Well, I've got to tell you that I
agree that the Empire State Building is worth a look-see, and Niagara Falls is something else again, but Mount Rushmore was one of the biggest wastes of time I've ever experienced. If you've ever seen a photo of the mountain carving, you've seen Mount Rushmore. 30-seconds is all it takes.There were far more tourists wandering around in the gift shop than wandering the grounds to stare at the sculpture from the 6-or-so observation points.
But that's just my point of view.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Elvis Sings For The Elderly
ARE YOU LONESOME TONIGHT? (Senior Citizen Version) Are you lonesome tonight? Does your memory stray, Is your hairline receding? Does your back give you pain? Is your blood pressure up? All that oat bran and fruit, If it's football or baseball, So your gallbladder's gone, When you're hungry, he's not, When you turn out the light, He was once so romantic, So don't take any bets, It's as good as it gets, Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?
Does your tummy feel tight?
Did you bring your mylanta and tums?
To that bright sunny day,
When you had all your teeth and your gums?
Your eyes growing dim?
Hysterectomy for her,
And its prostate for him.
Do your knees predict rain?
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?
Good cholesterol down?
Are you eating your low fat cuisine?
Metamucil to boot.
Helps you run like
A well oiled machine.
He sure knows the score.
Yes, he knows where it's at
But forgets what it's for.
But your gout lingers on,
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?
When you're cold, he is hot,
Then you start that old thermostat war.
He goes left and you go right,
Then you get his great symphonic snore.
So witty and smart;
How did he turn out to be such
A cranky old fart?
Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has left the building.l is
From JW Waller on Comcast. Click HERE for the original.
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Helpful Hints - Peanut Butter
Bits and Pieces had an interesting post. I've given you a taste below. Click HERE to jump to the site.
Top 10- unusual uses for peanut butter
9. Animal medicine: If you own a cat or a dog, you will know how hard it can be to get them to take their medication – especially when it is in pill form. Fortunately cats and dogs love peanut butter – so next time you have to give them some medication, mix it up with a spoonful and feed it to them. No more struggling with the animal as you hold its mouth open and try to force feed it a bitter pill.
Randall Boni's Chainsaw Wood Carvings
Click HERE to view the photo album, or click the play button in the window below to watch a slide show.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Sony's Newest Piece of Sh*t.
Warning - Constant stream of FILTHY LANGUAGE - and funny as hell.
Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work
Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work
Friday, August 07, 2009
Young Love
A Syracuse couple has been married for 75 years. A grandson had the billboard above put up in the downtown area. But the best part of the article in the Syracuse newspaper concerning the anniversary, was the couple's descriptions of why their marriage had worked...
For Connie, togetherness creates a deep definition of love. "We do everything I can think of together. You get to know each other as the years go by," Connie said. "As days and years go by, I feel closer than I did when I first got married. He's a part of me and I pray I'm as much a part of him."My wife and I have only been married 40 years, but our success is based on my own mastery of two little words - "Yes, dear."
Sam defines love differently. "You just kept your mouth shut," he joked.