Humor - Proposal?

When to Propose ... or Not

Men who can answer "yes" to five or more of these questions should consider carefully before proposing marriage.

•In the kitchen, has she ever referred to an oven as "that square thing"?

•Does she use the phrase "you know" more than twice per sen­tence?

•Is she making monthly payments of more than $300 to a plastic surgeon?

•Have you noticed her name tattooed on three or more local bikers?

•Have you noticed three or more local bikers' names tattooed on her?

•Does she regularly compare your love-making talents to an old boyfriend's?

•Does she regularly compare your love-making talents to the Green Bay Packers?

•If she works as a check-out clerk at K-Mart, a bank teller, or a cashier in an all-night diner, did she bet more than $10,000 on the last Super Bowl?

•Does she have a wholesale source for Deodorant-in-a-Drum?

•Has she ever used the word poo-poo?

•If forced to use it at all, does she choose to spell the word sex?

•Does her job resume include a six-year stint at Big Leg Emma's House Of Painful Delights?