Humor Time

Start worrying. [stop] Details to follow. [stop]

In a contest sponsored by New York Magazine, readers were asked to come up with some letters one would just as soon not receive. Some of the winning entries:

Dear Joan:You once asked me what you could do to help ...

Dear Dad:
First, I want to emphasize that no one in either car was hurt....

So why, you wonder, a letter after all these years? Well, I am writing my autobiography, and I am just at the part concerning our affair ...

Dear Irving:
Remember the old vase my Aunt Julia left me that you broke at my party? You wanted to reimburse me, and I said, "How about a couple of hundred bucks?" But you thought that was too much and insisted I get an appraisal. Well, I hope you are sitting down, because the museum's curator of 12th century art ...

Dear Thelma:
I have decided to write this because I have always respected you and have always believed that you would expect nothing less from me than complete honesty ...

Dear Mr. Cohn:
In response to your letter concerning pension checks not received by you, our records indicate that you are deceased ...