Funny - Without Trying To Be

You might like to check out this site - there's some funny stuff here. Click on the link in the title below to read the rest.

Cops Talk Funny
And it's hurting their credibility in court

What happens to police officers when they take the stand? I've been working with cops on the stand for over twenty years - first as a prosecutor and now as a national trainer on how to be an effective witness. From recruits in academies to senior officers and command staff, you talk funny when you take the stand. Is it in the water at the academies; is there a secret society where you're taught this special language?

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Lawyer: Would you observe these photographs and tell me if these items were seen by you that day?

Officer: Yes, sir, all items depicted in the five photos were later observed by this officer while I was observing the said property which was observed in the trunk of the vehicle.

[Disorderly Conduct - Verbatim Excerpts from Actual Court Cases, Rodney R. Jones, Charles M. Sevilla, Gerald F. Uelmen (1978)].

Or this: After conducting a traffic stop on a vehicle for an equipment violation, I contacted the driver and immediately detected the odor of intoxicants.

[Plain English for Cops, Nicholas Meier, R.J. Adams (1999).]

Do you use a baton when you're "conducting" a "traffic stop?" Is a "vehicle" a car? How did you "contact" the driver - with sticky shelf paper? What "detection" device did you use to smell something and, if you're smelling something, isn't it obvious it's an odor?