Christmas Quotes

Christmas Quotes

from Miss Cellania by Miss Cellania

 

I once bought my kids batteries for Christmas with a note saying, toys not included. -Bernard Manning

I was so poor growing up, if I hadn’t been a boy I’d have had nothing to play with on Christmas Day. -Rodney Dangerfield
If God had meant Christmas to be a family occasion He wouldn’t have invented TV, would He? -Rory McGrath

A dog is for life, not just for Christmas. So be careful at the office Christmas party. -Jimmy Carr

I saw a guy driving down Hollywood Boulevard with a tree on his bumper and I said: ‘Getting ready for Christmas?’ He said: ‘No, teaching the wife how to drive.’ -Bob Hope

At the office party you’re supposed to sit naked on top of the photocopier, not the shredder. -David Letterman

Roses are reddish, violets are bluish, if it wasn’t for Christmas, we’d all be Jewish. -Benny Hill

Excerpted from The Star, where you'll find even more. (via Fark)