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Friday, November 17, 2006

Fun things to do in an elevator

· Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"

· Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.


· Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

· Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

· Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

· When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

· Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

· On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

· Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I have new socks on!"

· When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, no, not now, damn motion sickness!"

· Meow occasionally.

· Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

· Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

· Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

· Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

· When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"

· Say "Ding!" at each floor.

· Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

· Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

· Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

· Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

· Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

· Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.

· Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.

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