I think I'm going to divorce my wife," a man said to his friend. "She hasn't spoken to me in more than three months."
"You better think it over," his friend said. "Women like that are hard to find."
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I have to come clean," a guy said to his girlfriend. "While we've been dating, I've been secretly seeing a psychiatrist."
"No worries," she said. "I've been secretly seeing a lawyer, a car salesman and two airline pilots."
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"Doc, my wife has lost her voice," a man told his physician. "What should I do to help her get it back?"
The doctor thought for a moment and then replied, "Try coming home drunk at three in the morning."
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