- As my lovebird fluttered and died in my hands, my mother promptly announced, "It was your fault."
- I found out the girl of my dreams had a huge crush on me one week too late.
- I have a twisted family that made me believe that chocolate milk came from brown cows until I was 14.
- I realized how much I hated working in the OC when I saw a couple pushing a stroller meant for twins, and instead of twins it contained four poodles wearing pink argyle sweaters.
- I learned a valuable life leason tonight: never eat 50% discounted sushi.
via Bits and Pieves
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