Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?
Dentist: Ninety dollars.
Patient: Ninety dollars for just a few minutes' work?
Dentist: I can do it slower if you like.
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"Doctor, am I going to die?"
"That's the last thing you're going to do."
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"Doctor, my fingers hurt. Do you think I should file my nails?"
"No, just throw them away."
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Patient: Doctor, every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm.
Doctor: Are you taking anything for it?
Patient: Ground pepper!
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