Sunday, October 07, 2012
Adult themed humor - The Perfect Day
THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER:
8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses.
8:30 Weigh in 5 lbs. lighter than yesterday.
8:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants.
9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil.
10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer.
10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo and comb-out.
12:00 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe.
12:45 Notice ex-boyfriend's wife, she has gained 30 pounds.
1:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit.
4:00 3 dozen roses delivered by florist, card is from secret
4:15 Light workout at club, followed by gentle massage.
5:30 Pick out outfit for dinner, primp before mirror.
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing.
10:00 Hot shower (alone).
10:30 Make love.
11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.
11:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms.
THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM:
6:30 Massive dump while reading sports section of USA Today.
7:00 Breakfast - filet mignon and eggs, toast and coffee.
7:30 Limo arrives.
7:45 Stoli Bloody Mary en route to airport.
8:15 Private jet to Augusta, GA.
9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club.
9:45 Front nine at Augusta (2 under).
11:45 Lunch - 2 dozen oysters on the half shell, 3 Heinekens.
12:30 Back nine at Augusta (4 under).
2:15 Limo back to airport (Bombay Martini).
2:30 Private G4, Augusta to Nassau, Bahamas (nap).
3:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female (topless)
4:30 Land world record light tackle Marlin (1249 lbs.).
5:00 Jet back and get massage and hand job en route by naked Kathy
6:45 Shit, shower and shave.
7:00 Watch CNN news flash: Obama resigns.
7:30 Dinner - lobster appetizers, Dom Perigon (1963), 20 oz. New
9:00 Remy Martin and Cuban Partagas cigar.
9:30 Sex with three women.
11:00 Massage and jacuzzi.
11:45 Bed (alone).
11:50 12 second, 4 octave fart. Dog leaves room.
11:55 Giggle yourself to sleep.