Some one-liners for you...
• Hear the one about the programmer that got stuck in the shower? The directions on the shampoo said "Lather, Rinse, Repeat"
• How did the hipster burn his mouth? He started eating the pizza long before it was cool.
• Q. How many designers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Does it have to be a light bulb?
• Q: What do you get when you cross your grandmother with an octopus? A: A whoooooole lot of cookies.