Alive inside - a moving video

Bumper stickers for old farts

Some funny bumper stickers for the geriatric set.

Joke time

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club
with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old tall, tan and
terrific "hoochie-mamma" who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful
sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to
his every word.

His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?'

Bob replies, 'Girlfriend? She's my wife!'

They are knocked over, but continue to ask. 'So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?'

'I lied about my age', Bob replies.

'What, did you tell her you were only 50?'

Bob smiles and says, 'No, I told her I was 90.'

Joke time

A man was having dinner at a friend's home when he noticed that his friend preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms like honey, darling, sweetheart and pumpkin. The man was impressed by his friend's effusive displays of affection because he knew the couple had been married more than 50 years. 

When the wife went into the kitchen to get coffee, the man told his friend, "I think it's wonderful that after all these years you still call your wife by such sweet names."

"The truth is," the friend replied, "I forgot her name 10 years ago."

Old men become curmudgeons.

A.A.A.D.D.

A.A.A.D.D.. KNOW THE SYMPTOMS! Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder. Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking. I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Pepsi aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. The Pepsi is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need water. I put the Pepsi on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day: the car isn't washed the bills aren't paid there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter the flowers don't have enough water, there is still only 1 check in my check book, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys. Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.... Do me a favour. Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember who I've sent it to. Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!

Old age can be difficult

From Chuck's Fun Page 2

Joke time

RETIREMENT

One day, while going to the store, I passed by a nursing home.

On the front lawn were six old ladies lying naked on the grass.

I thought this was a bit unusual, but continued on my way to the store.

On my return trip, I passed the same nursing home with the same six old ladies lying naked on the lawn.

This time my curiosity got the best of me, so I went inside to talk to the Nursing Home Administrator.

'Do you know there are six ladies lying naked on your Front lawn?'

'Yes,' she said. 'They're retired prostitutes and they're having a yard sale'.

RETIREMENT IS DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE

I can relate to this...

From Chuck's Fun Page 2

Dressing Your Age

SENIOR DRESS CODE

Many of us ' Old Folks' (those over 50, WAY over 50, or hovering near 50) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We are unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions. Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals

2. Spiked hair and bald spots

3. A pierced tongue and dentures

4. Mini skirts and support hose

5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads

6. Speedo's and cellulite

7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar

8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor

9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge

10. Bikinis and liver spots

11. Short shorts and varicose veins

12. Inline skates and a walker

And last , but not least

13. Thongs and Depends

Joke - Old Age Hearing Problems

Three folks, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day.

One remarked to the other, "Windy, ain't it?"

"No," the second man replied, "It's Thursday."

And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a coke."