Can I have five bucks to buy a guinea pig?" a boy asked his Irish grandfather.
"Here's a 10," said the grandfather. "Go get yourself a nice Irish girl instead."
A 97-year-old prostitute got herself listed in the yellow pages and now claims to be the oldest trick in the book.
Why did Adam and Eve have a perfect marriage?
He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.