An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday did not happen today.
A woman hears from her doctor that she has only half-a-year to live. The doctor advises her to marry an economist and to live in South Dakota. The woman asks, "Will this cure my illness?"
The doctor answers, "No, but the half-year will seem a lot longer."
A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job. The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks, "What does two plus two equal?"
The mathematician replies, "Four."
The interviewer asks, "Four exactly?"
The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and responds, "Yes, four exactly."
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question, "What does two plus two equal?"
The accountant say, "On average, 4 - give or take 10 percent - but on average, 4."
Finally the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question, "What is two plus two?"
The economist gets up, looks around furtively, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down right next to the interviewer and says quietly, "What do you want it to equal?"
Why was astrology invented?
So economics would seem to be an accurate science.