Thursday, July 26, 2018

Dad jokes - text

-When chemists die, they barium. 

-Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. 

-I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. 

-How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. 

- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. 

-I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. 

-I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. 

-They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O. 

-Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations. 

-I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

-Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her Job because she couldn't control her pupils? 

-Broken pencils are pointless. 

-I tried to catch some fog, but I mist. 

-What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. 

- England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool . 

-I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. 

-I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. 

-Velcro — what a rip off! 

-A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy

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