The phone rang in the church office early one morning. "May I speak to the head hog at the trough?" a man asked.
"If you're referring to the preacher," the startled secretary replied, "then you may refer to him as Pastor or Brother, hut please don't call him the head hog at the trough!"
"Well," the fellow said, 'I was thinking of donating $100,000 to the building fund, but if you're not interested, I'll just…”
“Hang on," the secretary chirped, "I think the fat pig just walked in!"