Getting to heaven...
I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?"
"No!" the children answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?"
Again, the answer was "No!"
By now I was starting to smile. "Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?"
Again, they all answered "No!"
I was just bursting with pride for them. I continued, "Then how can I get into heaven?"
A six year-old boy shouted out, "YUV GOTTA BE FOOKIN' DEAD...."
They're a curious race, the Irish.