Monday, July 31, 2006

Joke Time

Three friends die in a car crash and they find themselves at the Gates of Heaven. Before entering, they are each asked a question by St. Peter himself.

"When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you before they lower you into your grave?" asks St. Peter.

The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor and a wonderful family man."

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children."

They all turn to the third guy, who looks like he's deeply pondering.

"I would like to hear," he says, "Wait! He's moving!"

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Cartoon Time

Joke Time

The only question on the philosophy final was:

What is courage?

The student wrote: "This", signed the exam booklet, and turned it in.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Fun Images

Text Messaging

Hey, this is neat! Send a text message (for free) from Yahoo to a friend's cell phone. Here's the link...

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Cartoon Time

Joke Time

Two teenagers were arrested for possession of marijuana. At the police station the sergeant told them they were entitled to one phone call. An hour later a man entered the station and asked for the teenagers by name. The sergeant said, "I suppose you're their lawyer?"

"Nope," the man replied, "I'm just here to deliver their pizza."

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Cartoon Time

Fun Facts

Some fun facts taken from a national publication. I'm not mentioning the source for fear of being tracked down and hunted for plagiarism.

1. Some bozo recently shelled out $202.50 on EBay for a 1996 Notre Dame Academy yearbook because it contained photos of a young Katie Holmes.

2. Think you're not getting screwed at work? In 1980 the ratio of CEO pay to that of the average worker in the firm was 10:1. Today that ratio is 430:1. That's an increase of 4,200%.

3. We're a nation on the go. 19% of meals in America are consumed in cars.

4. According to Vault, Inc., 32% of white collar workers say they have either an "office husband" or an "office wife." An office spouse is a co-worker in whom you confide and with whom you spend excessive time, as you would with your significant other. Sex is not necessarily part of the relationship.

5. Most lawn mower injuries in the U.S. are not caused by direct contact with the mower - most are the result of thrown objects such as rocks, sticks and the occasional kids toy which are caught up in the blades. 80,000 Americans were injured in such accidents last year.

6. This one's a hoot: As many as 85% of calls to gambling-addiction hotlines set up by state lotteries are from people who want to know how to play, why they lost, or when they will receive their winnings.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Joke Time

25 Things You Should Have Learned by Middle Age

1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in agarage makes you a car.

4. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.

5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

25. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Funny Images

Click any image to view larger...

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Cartoon Time

Joke Time

A married couple was in a terrible accident, and the husband's face had been severely burned. The doctors could not graft any skin from his own body, so the wife offered to donate some of hers. The only skin the doctors felt was suitable came from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one the specifics of where the skin came from, and the doctor honoured their request.

After the surgery was completed, the man looked more handsome than he had ever before. All his friends and relatives gushed about his youthful beauty.

One day, overcome with emotion, when he was alone with his wife, he thanked her yet again for what she had done for him: "How can I possibly ever repay you?"

"Darling," she replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."

Fun website

Click here to link to a fun website - how many of the corporate logos do you recognize?