Chuck's Fun Page 2

Thursday, July 10, 2008

There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they had over their wives, while the third remained quiet.

After a while one of the first two turned to the third and said, "Well, what about you? What sort of control do you have over your wife?"

The third fellow says, "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."

The first two guys were amazed. "Wow! What happened then?" they asked.

The third man took a healthy swallow of his beer, sighed and uttered, "She said, 'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man.'"

Video - Wave Pool in Tokyo

It's hard to comprehend being this jammed in at a public amusement area. I think I'd save the money.

Funny Images

Fortune cookie fortune...

There is simply no explanation that would suffice...

This is timely as they're running the bulls this week in Spain. Again - proof of just how stupid the average human being really is...

Oops - the truck had already pulled away from the platform...

The newest Bond villain...

Video - Pilot Stupidity

The pilot of a helicopter finds out that no good deed goes unpunished - and further proves just how stupid the average human being really is.

Link - How I Spent My Stimulus

There's a website out there where you can post a message as to how you spent your stimulus check from Uncle Sam. There are some cute stories posted - and a few sad ones as well. Here's a sample - the link is below the image.

Link

Video - Bungee Jumper Scared Shitless

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Video - Amy Walker Does 21 Accents

Cartoon Fun

Pun Fun

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but then they lit a fire in the craft and it sank - proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

Where's that Talent?

I've tried to watch "America's Got Talent" several times, but I just can't stand it. The video editing has to be just about the worst in the industry, so after an episode or two, I stop watching. The show CONSISTENTLY pans away from the performers to the audience, the judges, the moderator (now Jerry Springer). Especially with the visual performers (dancers, magicians, acrobats, etc.) you really don't get the gist of the act at all.

Below is a video from Britain's Got Talent of a couple of fun dancers - but I see that it's edited in exactly the same way. Check it out and see if I'm not right.

Link - Moon Explosions

What with President Bush wanting to get the U.S. back to the moon in the near future so that we can use it as a lunch pad for a trip to Mars, this is rather fascinating...

Since 2005, NASA has observed 100 explosions on the surface of the Moon. The big booms, usually equivalent to a few hundred pounds of TNT, are caused by meteoroids smashing into the Moon's surface.

Read more - Link

Quiz: Match the Doctors With The Facts

Match the docotrs (top) with the facts (below). Answers are at the bottom...

a. Dr. Ruth
b. Dr. Phil
c. Dr. Drew
d. Dr. House (not the actor, the character)
e. Dr. Dre
f. Dr. Laura

1. Are actual M.D.s

2. Trained as a sniper in an underground Israeli military force.

3. In 2003 marketed a line of weight-loss products called Shape-Up which was promptly pulled when customers lost more money than
weight.

4. Trained as an opera singer.

5. Played middle-linebacker in college on a defense that gave up more than 100 points to the University of Houston.

6. Had his/her first child at the age of 17.

7. Did voice work for the cartoon comedies Family Guy, Robot Chicken and Crank Yankers.

8. Was a diver on the swim team in high school.

9. Sanctioned by a state board of examiners for having an inappropriate relationship with a patient.

10. Has been described as a "cross between Henry Kissinger and Minnie Mouse."

11. Called homosexuality "a biological error."

12. Had nude photos posted on the Internet in 1998.

13. Accused the wives of soldiers in Iraq of "bitching."

14. Spouse wrote a New York Times #1 best-seller.

15. Said "Seizures are cool to watch but boring to diagnose."

16. Had an asteroid named after him/her.

17. Taught kindergarten.

18. Was shot in 2006.

Answers:

1. Real M.D.s - (c)Drew and (d)House

2. Sniper - (a)Ruth

3. Shpe-Up - (b)Phil

4. Opera singer - (c)Drew

5. Linebacker - (b)Phil

6. Child at 17 - (e)Dre

7. Cartoon voices - (c)Drew

8. High school diver - (e)Dre

9. Sex with patient - (b)Phil

10. Minnie Mouse - (a)Ruth

11. Homosexuality slur - (f)Laura

12. Nude photos - (f)Laura

13. Bitchy wives - (f)Laura

14. Spousal author - (b)Phil

15. Sizures - (d)House

16. Asteroid - (d)House

17. Kindergarten - (a)Ruth

18. Shot - (d)House

*Source - Playboy, July, 2008

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Joke - At the Doctor's Office

A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward the doctor comes out with the results.

"I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left."

"Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?"

"Ten," the doctor says sadly.

"Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?"

"Nine..."