Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Why golf is better than sex

  1. You don’t have to sneak your golf magazines into the house.
  2. If you are having trouble with golf, it is perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to show you how to improve your technique.
  3. The Ten Commandments do not say anything about golf.
  4. If your partner takes pictures or videotapes of you golfing, you don’t have to worry about them showing up on the Internet, then you become famous.
  5. Your golf partner won’t keep asking questions about other partners you’ve golfed with.
  6. It’s perfectly respectable to golf with a total stranger.
  7. When you see a really good golfer, you don’t have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you golfing together.
  8. If your regular golf partner isn’t available, he/she won’t object if you golf with someone else.
  9. Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you golf by yourself.
  10. When dealing with a golf pro, you never have to wonder if they are really an undercover cop.
  11. You don’t have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood to buy golf stuff.
  12. You can have a golf calendar on your wall at the office, tell golf jokes and invite co-workers to golf with you without getting sued for harassment.
  13. There is no such thing as a golf transmitted disease.
  14. If you want to watch golf on television, you don’t have to subscribe to a premium cable channel.
  15. Nobody expects you to promise to golf with just one partner for the rest of your life.
  16. Nobody expects you to give up golfing if your partner loses interest in the game.
  17. You don’t have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily for the enjoyment of golf.
  18. Your golf partner will never say, “What? We just golfed last week! Is that all you ever think about?”

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