Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
I hope that you found this most pleasurable.
Thursday, May 09, 2013
Quickie
Here's today's quickie...
I hope that you found this most pleasurable.
I hope that you found this most pleasurable.
Wednesday, May 08, 2013
Word play
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:
1.. Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2.. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3.. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4.. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5.. Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6.. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7.. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8.. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9.. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer, man.
12. Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
Here are the winners:
1.. Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2.. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3.. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4.. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5.. Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6.. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7.. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8.. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9.. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer, man.
12. Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
Witty and strange signs continued
Lots of impromptu signs to amuse you. Follow-up from a posting yesterday.
Chemist cat redux
I've posted some of these before, mostly scattered among other images, but there are also some that are new to me in this mix.
Quickie
Here's today's quickie...
I hope you it enjoyed it as well.
Father to his son: "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - don't exaggerate!"
I hope you it enjoyed it as well.
Tuesday, May 07, 2013
Joke time
An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.
"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here, "she cried," one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.
"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here, "she cried," one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
What a great story...
Kidnap Victim Amanda Berry Hailed as 'Real Hero' in Rescue of Three Women
Police today lauded Amanda Berry as a "real hero" for breaking free after 10 years of captivity and rescuing herself and two other women held as prisoners in a Cleveland house.
Berry's bolt to freedom Monday night revealed a shocking case of three women abducted as long as 11 years ago and held in a modest house where neighbors and relatives never suspected anything was wrong.
"The real hero here is Amanda. She's the one that got this rolling. We're following her lead," said Cleveland Police Deputy Chief Ed Tumba at a press conference this morning. "Without her we wouldn't be here today."
Berry broke through a door with the help of a neighbor and called police on Monday evening. Within minutes, police were at the modest two-story home on Seymour Avenue. There authorities found two other missing woman, Gina DeJesus, 27, and Michele Knight, 32 who were also abducted in separate cases years ago, just miles from where they had each disappeared.
And this guy is an instant You Tube hero!
Witty and nasty notices
Some are for fun, some are from people very irritated. Nearly all will bring a smile to your lips.
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