Showing posts with label West Virginia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label West Virginia. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Monday, June 04, 2007
30 Things You'll Never Hear a West Virginia Boy Say
1. I'll taste before I salt.
2. I'll Take Shakespeare For $1,000, Alex.
3. Duct Tape Won't Fix That.
4. Come To Think Of It, I'll Have A Heineken.
5. We Don't Keep Firearms In This House.
6. We Don't Feed That To The Dog.
7. No Kids In The Back Of The Pickup,It's Just Not Safe.
8. Wrestling's Fake.
9. We're Vegetarians.
10. Do You Think My Gut Is Too Big?
11. I'll Have Grapefruit & Grapes Instead Of Biscuits & Gravy.
12. Honey, We Don't Need Another Dog.
13. Who Gives A Damn Who Won The Civil War.
14. Give Me The Small Bag Of Pork Rinds.
15. Too Many Deer Heads Detract From The Decor.
16. I Just Couldn't Find A Thing At Wal-Mart Today.
17. Trim The Fat Off That Steak.
18. Cappuccino Tastes Better Than Expresso.
19. The Tires On That Truck Are Too Big.
20. I've Got It All On The C Drive.
21. Unsweetened Tea Tastes Better.
22. My Fiancee, Bobbie Jo, Is Registered At Tiffany's.
23. I've Got Two Cases Of Zima For The Super Bowl.
24. Checkmate.
25. She's Too Young To Be Wearing A Bikini.
26. Hey, Here's An Episode Of "Hee Haw" That We've Not Seen.
27. I Don't Have A Favorite College Team.
28. You All.
29. Those Shorts Ought To Be A Little Longer, Betty Mae.
30. Nope, No More For Me. I'm Driving.
2. I'll Take Shakespeare For $1,000, Alex.
3. Duct Tape Won't Fix That.
4. Come To Think Of It, I'll Have A Heineken.
5. We Don't Keep Firearms In This House.
6. We Don't Feed That To The Dog.
7. No Kids In The Back Of The Pickup,It's Just Not Safe.
8. Wrestling's Fake.
9. We're Vegetarians.
10. Do You Think My Gut Is Too Big?
11. I'll Have Grapefruit & Grapes Instead Of Biscuits & Gravy.
12. Honey, We Don't Need Another Dog.
13. Who Gives A Damn Who Won The Civil War.
14. Give Me The Small Bag Of Pork Rinds.
15. Too Many Deer Heads Detract From The Decor.
16. I Just Couldn't Find A Thing At Wal-Mart Today.
17. Trim The Fat Off That Steak.
18. Cappuccino Tastes Better Than Expresso.
19. The Tires On That Truck Are Too Big.
20. I've Got It All On The C Drive.
21. Unsweetened Tea Tastes Better.
22. My Fiancee, Bobbie Jo, Is Registered At Tiffany's.
23. I've Got Two Cases Of Zima For The Super Bowl.
24. Checkmate.
25. She's Too Young To Be Wearing A Bikini.
26. Hey, Here's An Episode Of "Hee Haw" That We've Not Seen.
27. I Don't Have A Favorite College Team.
28. You All.
29. Those Shorts Ought To Be A Little Longer, Betty Mae.
30. Nope, No More For Me. I'm Driving.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Joke Time
Two men were driving through West Virginia when they got pulled over by a State Trooper.
The cop walked up and tapped on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolled down the window and WHACK, the cop smacked him in the head with his nightstick.
"What the hell was that for?" the driver asked.
"You're in West Virginia, son," the trooper answered. "When we pull you over in West Virginia, you better have your license ready by the time we get to your car."
"I'm sorry, officer," the driver said, "I'm not from around here."
The trooper runs a check on the guy's license--he's clean and he gives the guy his license back.
The trooper then walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window and "WHACK", the trooper smacks him on the head with the nightstick.
"What'd you do that for?" the passenger demands.
"Just making your wish come true," replied the trooper.
"Making WHAT wish come true?" the passenger asked.
"Because I know your type." the trooper says. "Two miles down the road you're gonna turn to your buddy and say,"I wish that asshole would've tried that shit with me".
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