Showing posts with label accident. Show all posts
Showing posts with label accident. Show all posts
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Saturday, February 09, 2013
Joke time
It was a pretty serious auto accident. Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt, his face smashed into the windshield.
In a strange twist of fate, he wasn't seriously injured, but something rather bizarre happened:
The cracked glass pinched his right eyelid and, when he bounced back, ripped the eyelid off. Unfortunately, the tissue wasn't saved for reattachment.
At the hospital, plastic surgeons weren't sure how to repair it. Skin grafts wouldn't do the trick, since plain skin isn't thick enough for the job. Then one of the surgeons noticed he wasn't circumcised. The thick, elastic skin there would be just the ticket!
Sure enough, the operation was a success and the new eyelid works just as intended!
But the true measure of success in any plastic surgery is: how does it look? It's not quite perfect, doctors say: while it works perfectly, he will forever be ...a little cockeyed.
Monday, January 07, 2013
Friday, December 14, 2012
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Saturday, December 08, 2012
In a hurry
Yes, it is not always faster to try to rush your way through traffic. And doesn't it do your heart good to see someone like this get what's coming to them?
Friday, November 30, 2012
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
Tuesday, April 05, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Accident Reports
These are statements from insurance forms where car drivers tried to summarize accident details in as few words as possible. Such instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that incompetency can be highly entertaining.
1. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intent.
3. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
4. In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
5. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
6. I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
7. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
8. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
9. As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no sign had ever appeared before, making me unable to avoid the accident.
10. I told the police I was not injured, but upon removing my hair, I found that I had a fractured skull.
11. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
12. I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.
13. The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
14. I was thrown from my car as it left the road, and was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
15. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
16. I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.
17. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
18. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
19. The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.
20. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
21. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
22. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.
1. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intent.
3. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
4. In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
5. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
6. I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
7. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
8. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
9. As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no sign had ever appeared before, making me unable to avoid the accident.
10. I told the police I was not injured, but upon removing my hair, I found that I had a fractured skull.
11. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
12. I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.
13. The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
14. I was thrown from my car as it left the road, and was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
15. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
16. I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.
17. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
18. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
19. The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.
20. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
21. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
22. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
This Is Serious and Gruesome
Please don't use your cell phone while driving. I've already been hit once by a guy distracted by his cell phone. A year or so ago a number of high school girls outside of Rochester (near us) were killed when the driver was texting and driving.
Saturday, May 09, 2009
Monday, April 06, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Pop-Off Wheel
A warning to motorcycle racers - try not to hit the barriers alongside the track - not even the little ones.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Is This Another Put-On?
Was this staged? Why was someone filming? Why did the crane operator run away - does he really think his employer has no record of his address? Suspiciously like a staged accident.
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