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Showing posts with label chicken. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chicken. Show all posts

Monday, June 10, 2013

Joke time...

 Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ed.'

Ed was stunned.. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'

St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'

Ed was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground..

A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'

'Not bad,' replied Ed the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'

'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'

'Never,' said Ed.

'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'

He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!  He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood.  He soon laid another egg - his joy was overwhelming..

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard…..

"Ed, wake up! You shit the bed!"

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

Joke time


A chicken goes into the library, walks up to the librarian, and says, "Book."

The librarian says, "You want a book?"

"Book."

"Any book?"

"Book."

So the librarian gives the chicken a novel and off it goes. An hour later the chicken comes back and says, "Book-book."

The librarian says, "Now you want two books?"

"Book-book."

So she gives the chicken two more novels. The chicken leaves but again comes back later.

"Book-book-book."

"Three books?"

"Book-book-book."

So the librarian gives the chicken three books, but she decides she'll follow the chicken and find out what's going on. And the chicken goes down the alley, out of town and toward the woods, into the woods and down to the river, down to the swamp, and there is a bullfrog. The chicken sets the books down by him. 

The bullfrog looks at the books and says, "Reddit.. .Reddit.. .Reddit..."

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Chciken Head Positioning

From the "Who Knew That?" Department...


Monday, January 19, 2009

Chicken Funeral

A funny chicken cartoon with apologies to McDonald's...


Thursday, November 20, 2008

Techno Chicken

A stupid waste of your time - but it might bring a smile to your lips...


Saturday, September 29, 2007

Sunday, December 31, 2006

Boneless Chicken

Cute, but very pricey.


Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Joke Time

Two farmers were boasting about the strongest wind they had ever experienced.

"Out here in California," said one, "you know those giant redwood trees? Well, the wind got so strong it bent them right over."

"That's nothing," said the farmer from Iowa, "Back on my farm we had a wind one day that blew a hundred miles per hour. It was so bad that one of my hens had her back turned to the wind, and she laid the same egg six times."