Joke time

Late at night, mommy and daddy are having sex. Timmy wakes up and goes in to see his parents because he is hearing some noise. When he walks in his parents bedroom he sees what is going on. The parents stop having sex and look at Timmy. Timmy doesn't say anything and walks away. Dad looks at mom and says " I will go talk to him".

Dad finds Timmy having sex with Granny. Dad just stands there in shock. Timmy just looks at him and says, "Not so funny when it's your mother eh?"

Joke Time: Not My Mom!

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.

"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who I haven't seen in a long time."

"That's a shame," replied the young man, "is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes," she said, "as I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mother!' It would make me feel so much better."

"Sure," answered the young man.

As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Good-bye, Mother!"

As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50.

"How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!"

"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk.

Joke - Starving

A man called his mother in Florida. "How are you doing, Mom?" he asked.

"Not too good," she replied. "I've been very weak."

"Why are you so weak?"

"Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."

"For heaven's sake, Mother" he exclaimed. "Why not?"

"Because," she explained, "I didn't want my mouth to be full when you called."

Joke - Jewish Mom

Two Jewish mothers meet for coffee. "Well Ruthie, how are the kids?"

"To tell you the truth, my Abe has married a slut! She doesn't get out of bed until 10; she's out all day spending his money on God knows what; and when he gets home, exhausted, does she have a nice, hot dinner for him? No! She makes him take her out to dinner at an expensive restaurant."

"Oh Ruthie, that's terrible! And Esther?"

"Ah! Esther has married a saint. He brings her breakfast in bed; he gives her enough money to buy all she needs; and in the evening he takes her out to dinner at an expensive restaurant."

Joke Time

A man called his mother in Florida. "How are you doing, Mom?" he asked.

"Not too good," she replied. "I've been very weak."

"Why are you so weak?"

"Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."

"For heaven's sake, Mother" he exclaimed. "Why not?"

"Because," she explained, "I didn't want my mouth to be full when you called."