Joke time

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

‘Good morning,’ said the young man. ‘If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners . ‘

‘Go away!’ said the old lady. ‘I’m broke and haven’t got any money!’ and she proceeded to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. ‘Don’t be too hasty!’ he said. ‘Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.’ And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. ‘If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.’

The old lady stepped back and said, ‘Well let me get you a fork, ’cause they cut off my electricity this morning.

Car salesman loses his mind

WARNING- adult language.

Joke - Master Salesman

When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk’s hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk said he had some very good news for him.

"Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we’ve had so long!"

"Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing?" the manager asked.

"That’s the one!"

That’s great!" the manager cried, "I thought we’d never get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest suit we’ve ever had! But tell me. Why is your hand bandaged?"

"Oh," the clerk replied, "after I sold the guy that suit, his guide dog bit me."

Joke Time

It was a Friday morning and the salesman had yet to make his first sale. Lately business had been absolutely terrible. Finally he managed to talk his first customer into a purchase of $200.

So anxious was the salesman to make the sale, he accepted $100 up front, with a solemn promise by the customer to owe him the rest.

Three months later, the salesman began to try to collect the balance. But the debtor explained: "When I paid you the $100, you made me promise to owe you the balance. I am trying to keep my word and owe you the rest. Why are you trying so hard to make me break my word?"

Joke Time

A sales representative stops at a small manufacturing plant in the Midwest. He presents a box of cigars to the manager as a gift.

"No, thanks," says the plant manager. "I tried smoking a cigar once and I didn't like it."

The sales rep shows his display case and then, hoping to clinch a sale, offers to take the manager out for martinis.

"No, thanks," the plant manager replies. "I tried alcohol once, but didn't like it."

Then the salesman glances out the officer window and sees a golf course. "I suppose you play golf," says the salesman. "I would like to invite you to be a guest at my club."

"No, thanks," says the manager. "I played golf once, but I didn't like it."

Just then a young man enters the office. "Let me introduce my son, Bill," says the plant manager.

"Let me guess," replies the salesman. "An only child?"