Come here son, don't associate with the riff-raff.

Joke Time: Special Day

A cop pulled over a man who was driving a car filled with penguins.

"Sir," the officer said to the driver, "you can't have all these penguins in your car! You must take them to the zoo right now."

The man agreed and the cop let him go.

The next day the cop pulled over the same man with the same penguins in his car. When he approached the vehicle he noticed the penguins were wearing sunglasses.

"Sir," the officer said, "I distinctly remem­ber telling you yesterday to take these pen­guins to the zoo."

"I did," the man said. "Today we're going to the beach."

Joke Time

What's the difference between a city zoo and a redneck zoo?

The signs at the city zoo give each species' common name and scientific name.

At the redneck zoo, signs give each species' common name and a recipe.

Joke Time

The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a pair of animals. He sat and stared at his computer for some time before composing the following sentence: "I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."

He stared at the screen, focusing on that odd word "mongooses". Then he deleted the word and added another, so that the sentence now read: "I would like to place an order for two mongeese, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."

Again he stared at the screen, this time focusing on the new word, which seemed just as odd as the original one. Finally, he deleted the whole sentence and started all over: "Everyone knows no fully-stocked zoo should be without a mongoose. Please send us two of them."