Joke Time
3 dillies

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?

Pregnant.
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A man complained to a friend, "I had it all: money; a beautiful house; a big car; the love of a beautiful woman - and now it's all gone."

His friend asked, "What happened?"

The man said, "My wife found out. Now she has it all."
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Two friends agreed to meet for drinks after work. One arrived late and said, "Sorry, but on my way here I saw three punks slapping my old boss around."

His friend asked, "Did you stop to help?"

The guy said, "No. I figured the three of them could handle it."