Showing posts with label boss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boss. Show all posts
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Joke time
When the body was first made, all parts wanted to be boss.
The brain said, "Since I control everything and do all the thinking, I should be boss."
The feet said, "Since I carry man where he wants to go and get into positions to do what the brain wants, I should be boss."
The eyes said, "Since I must look out for all of you and tell you where the danger lurks, I should be boss."
And so it went with the heart, the ears, the lungs, and finally the asshole spoke up and demanded it be made boss.
All of the other parts laughed and laughed at the idea of an asshole being made boss. The asshole was so angered that he blocked himself off and refused to function. Soon, the brain was feverish, the eyes were crossed and ached, the feet were too weak to walk, the hands hung limply at the sides, and the heart and lungs struggled to keep going.
All pleaded with the brain to relent and let the asshole be boss. And so it happened. All the other parts did all the work and the asshole just bossed and passed out a lot of shit.
MORAL: You don't have to be a brain to be boss, just an asshole!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Joke Time: Bad Business
A man owned a small business, and an agent from the state's employment office came for a surprise visit.
"You say there's a problem here?" the boss inquired.
"That's what we hear, sir," the agent said. "You are required by law to cooperate."
"Whatever you boys need is fine with me," said the cooperative man.
"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.
"Well," replied the businessman, "there's my foreman who's been with me for nine years. I pay him $1,500 a week."
"Who else?" the agent said.
"And the office gal has been here for three years, and I pay her $450 per week."
"And?" the agent insisted, clearly looking for the businessman to admit something in particular.
"The only other one is the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He only gets about $100 per week, though he gets a bottle of bourbon every payday -- which he has to nurse along for the rest of the month. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."
"That's the guy I want to talk to!" says the agent. "The half-wit that you don't even pay minimum wage!"
"Yer talkin' to him," replied the boss.
"You say there's a problem here?" the boss inquired.
"That's what we hear, sir," the agent said. "You are required by law to cooperate."
"Whatever you boys need is fine with me," said the cooperative man.
"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.
"Well," replied the businessman, "there's my foreman who's been with me for nine years. I pay him $1,500 a week."
"Who else?" the agent said.
"And the office gal has been here for three years, and I pay her $450 per week."
"And?" the agent insisted, clearly looking for the businessman to admit something in particular.
"The only other one is the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He only gets about $100 per week, though he gets a bottle of bourbon every payday -- which he has to nurse along for the rest of the month. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."
"That's the guy I want to talk to!" says the agent. "The half-wit that you don't even pay minimum wage!"
"Yer talkin' to him," replied the boss.
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
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