Quite the discovery!

The Dentist Sketch - Tim Conway

At the dentist office - joke

A man and his wife walked into a dentist’s office.

The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I’m in one heck of a hurry. I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anesthetic, I don’t have time for the gums to get numb. I just want you to pull the tooth, and be done with it! We have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course in town and it’s 9:30 already. I don’t have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!’

The dentist thought to himself, "My goodness, this is surely a very brave man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain."

So the dentist asks him, "Which tooth is it sir?"

The man turned to his wife and said, "Open your mouth Honey, and show him."

Joke

A man went to his dentist because his mouth felt funny. The dentist examined him and said, "That new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?"

The man replied, "All I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious. Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything - meat, toast, fish, vegetables, everything."

"Well," said the dentist, "that's probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new plate, and this time I'll use chrome."

"Why chrome?" asked the patient.

To which the dentist replied, "It's simple. Everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!"

It's Gotta Be The Lowest Price!

Finding a New Dentist

Edgar Jeffries had just come to Springfield, Illinois, and he was looking to establish necessary contacts to begin his new life. He asked an associate for the name of a good dentist. Given the name, he then asked if the man was truly good at his profession.

"Well," the new friend answered, "not more than a couple of years ago I went to that dentist and had a lot of work done. Then, about a week ago, I was playing a game of golf when the fellow behind me hit a drive and that damned ball caught me right in the groin. I tell you that for the first time since that dentist finished with me, my teeth stopped hurting!"

The False Teeth Problem

At a dinner party, one of the guests was having trouble with his steak. The fellow next to him noticed his trouble, saying, "That steak looks kind of tough...like the kind that insists on mooing."

"No, it's not the steak. It's my teeth. They keep slipping around in my mouth."

"I believe I can help you." The man reached into his pocket, saying, "Here, try this set."

But that one didn't fit either. So he pulled out a couple more and one of them fit just fine.

"Say this set is just great," the troubled man said. "But how come you had so many sets of teeth with you? You must be a dentist."

"Nope. Undertaker."

Joke - Mental Issues

A guy walked into a dentist's office and flopped down in the chair. "Doc," he said, "I think I'm a moth."

"That certainly is a problem," said the doctor, "but why did you come into a den­tist's office?"

"Well," he replied, "the light was on."

Bad Tooth

Joke Time

Sarah was crazy about her handsome new dentist and soon had lured him into a series of passionate encounters in his office. But one day he told her, "Sarah, honey, we've got to stop seeing each other. Your husband is bound to get suspicious."

"No way, sweetheart, he's dumb as a post," she assured him. "Besides, it's been six months and he doesn't suspect a thing."

"True," agreed the dentist, "but now you're down to one tooth!"

Joke Time

A Texas oilman settled hack for his annual dental checkup. After completing a thorough examination, the dentist had good news. "Henry, your teeth are in great shape. There isn't a thing we need to do to them."

"Drill anyway, Doc," the Texan insisted. "I feel lucky today."