What's THAT all about?

Slippery

Poor little fella is just slip-sliding away.

Pretty smart (lucky) penguin

Carlsberg Sport Ad

Drinking Doubles

The white-faced, dazed-looking man staggered up to the bar and ordered a double shot of whiskey. He downed it in a gulp, and then ordered two more doubles.

"What's wrong, buddy?" the bartender asked.

"Nothing," the man mumbled. He finished the second two drinks in short order, and then ordered two more.

"Listen," the bartender said. "You're going to be unconscious in a minute. There must be something I can help you with."

"Well," the guy said. "You can answer a question. How big is a penguin?"

"About this high," the bartender said, holding his hand three feet from the ground.

"Shit!" the man swore. "Then I just ran over a nun.

Joke Time

Two cows are talking in the field one day. The first asks: "Have you heard about that mad cow disease that is going around?"

"Yeah," says the second cow. "Sure makes you glad you are a penguin, doesn't it?"