Joke Time

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off.

Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.  However, when the revelers saw the nun,the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, ‘May I please use the restroom?

The bartender replied, ‘OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.’

‘Well, in that case, I’ll just look the other way,’ said the nun.

So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.  After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.

She went to the bartender and said, ‘Sir, I don’t understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?’

‘Well, now they know you’re one of us,’ said the bartender,’Would you like a drink?’

‘No thank you, but, I still don’t understand,’ said the puzzled nun.

‘You see,’ laughed the bartender, ‘every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.  Now, how about that drink?'

Drinking Doubles

The white-faced, dazed-looking man staggered up to the bar and ordered a double shot of whiskey. He downed it in a gulp, and then ordered two more doubles.

"What's wrong, buddy?" the bartender asked.

"Nothing," the man mumbled. He finished the second two drinks in short order, and then ordered two more.

"Listen," the bartender said. "You're going to be unconscious in a minute. There must be something I can help you with."

"Well," the guy said. "You can answer a question. How big is a penguin?"

"About this high," the bartender said, holding his hand three feet from the ground.

"Shit!" the man swore. "Then I just ran over a nun.

Joke - Pregnant Nun

In Santa Clara, Sister Betty strode into Mother Superior’s office. "I was just speaking with Sister Susie and Sister said that she's pregnant!"

"We’re supposed to be celibate here," said M.S. "Did she say how this happened?"

"She said that it was San Andreas’ fault."