Joke time

The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. The navigator eyed him suspiciously as he placed it on top of the instrument panel.

After an uncomfortable pause, the pilot asks him, "Do you know what I use this for?"

"No, sir. What's it for?" the navigator asked, even though he was pretty sure what was up.

"I use this on navigators who get me lost!" the pilot said.

The pilot smirked, and turned back to his flying.

A few minutes later, the navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart table, in full view of the pilot, but he didn't say anything.

The pilot finally had to ask: "What's that for?"

"To be honest, sir," the navigator replied, "I'll know we're lost long before you will."

Cigarette ad from days gone by...

Pilot joke

A C-130 freight airplane was lumbering along when a cocky F-16 pilot flashed by. The jet jockey decided to show off.

The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, "Watch this!" -- and he promptly went into a barrel role, followed by a steep climb. He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier. The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought of that.

The C-130 pilot said, "That was impressive. But watch this!"

The C-130 droned on for about 5 minutes and then the C-130 pilot came back on the radio and said, "What did you think of that?"

Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, "What the hell did you do?"

The C-130 pilot chuckled and said, "I stood up, stretched my legs, walked to the back, went to the bathroom, then got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon bun."

When you're young and foolish, speed and flash may seem a good thing. When you get older and smarter, comfort and dull is not such a bad thing!

Pilot With No Arms

Interesting - but do you think that it was a wise idea to license her?

Not His Day To Die

Amazing.

Joke - Blind Pilots

Two blind pilots were both wearing dark glasses. One is using a guide dog and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a white stick. Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming.

The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport. As it begins to look as though the plane will plough into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin.

At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane IS in good hands.

In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says, "Ya know, Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."

Joke Time

What's the difference between a good stewardess and a great stewardess?

A good stewardess says, "Good morning, Captain."

A great stewardess says, "It's morning, Captain."

Joke Time

An airplane pilot dies, and is sent to hell. The devil takes him to the 'newly arrived' area and asks him to wait just a little, the pilot is to choose his own hell, but first the devil has to take care of something else.

While the devil is gone, the curious pilot begins examining the waiting area and discovers doors marked 1, 2, and 3.

He opens door number one, and sees a pilot going through flight checks for all eternity.

He opens door number two, and sees a pilot that forever finds himself trying to resolve emergency situations.

Then he opens the last door, and sees a flight captain being waited on hand and foot by scantily-clad stewardesses.

The devil returns just as the pilot gets back to his waiting position. He offers the pilot a choice of door number one or two.

The pilot objects: "I wanted door number three!"

"Sorry," replies the devil, "that is 'flight attendants' hell'."