A little advice for expecting parents

She looks pregnant

I'd say "bad parenting," but - too soon?

Decorated Pregnant Bellies

From Chuck's Fun Page 2

From Chuck's Fun Page 2

From Chuck's Fun Page 2

From Chuck's Fun Page 2

From Chuck's Fun Page 2

Joke Time: In The Doctor's Office

A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of the
younger doctors. After about four minutes in the examination room,
she burst out screaming as she ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room.

The older doctor marched down the hallway back to where the young doctor was writing on his clipboard.

"What's the matter with you?" the older doctor demanded. "Mrs. Terry
is 63 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and
you told her she was pregnant?"

The younger doctor continued writing and without looking up said, "Does she still have the hic-cups ?

Joke - Unexpected Pregnancy

An 18 year old girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature, distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.

Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.

If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account.

If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each.

However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You try again."

Joke - Pregnant Wife

The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurances to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.

She said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier!"

She looked at the men in the room. "And gentlemen, remember. You're in this together. It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with your partner."

The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information.

Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.

"Yes?" answered the teacher.

"I was just wondering ," the man said. "Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

Joke - First Child

A man whose wife was going into labor dialed 911 in a panic. When the dispatcher answered, he cried, "My wife is having a baby. Her con­tractions are only two minutes apart. What do I do?"

The dispatcher said, "Calm down. Is this her first child?"

"No," the frantic man replied. "This is her husband."

Joke - Pregnant Nun

In Santa Clara, Sister Betty strode into Mother Superior’s office. "I was just speaking with Sister Susie and Sister said that she's pregnant!"

"We’re supposed to be celibate here," said M.S. "Did she say how this happened?"

"She said that it was San Andreas’ fault."

Joke Time

Catherine, pregnant with her first child, paid a visit to her obstetrician's office.

After the exam, she shyly began, "My husband wants me to ask you something...."

"I know, I know," the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "There's no need to be embarrassed. I get asked that all the time."

"You do?!" Catherine asked.

"Sure," he says. "Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy."

"No, that's not it," Catherine confessed. "He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn."