Joke Time

What's the difference between a city zoo and a redneck zoo?

The signs at the city zoo give each species' common name and scientific name.

At the redneck zoo, signs give each species' common name and a recipe.

Sign Time

World's Worst Police Dog?

Asteroids

Remember the old arcade game of asteroids? Pretty simple by today's standards. Now you can play a Shockwave version online. Use the arrow keys to spin your spacecraft - use the spacebar to fire your gun.

Click here to play.

Donald Rumsfeld - A Retrospective

Worth a look.

Animal Grappler - Part 1

A Canadian goes to the Everglades to tackle a big bull alligator. Funny.

Joke Time

A Texas oilman settled hack for his annual dental checkup. After completing a thorough examination, the dentist had good news. "Henry, your teeth are in great shape. There isn't a thing we need to do to them."

"Drill anyway, Doc," the Texan insisted. "I feel lucky today."

Cartoon Time

Joke Time

A tourist stopped to read the inscription on a monument to the Unknown Soldier in a small town in Israel: HERE LIES SEYMOUR GLASSMAN, ACCOUNTANT.

"Excuse me," the tourist asked a passing local, "but how could the Unknown Soldier have a name?"

"As a soldier Seymour was unknown," the Is­raeli explained, "but as an accountant, he was notorious."

Sign Time

Terrifying Horror Film

Joke Time

When I was younger I hated going to weddings....

Why?

Because every time, all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, "You're next!"

I finally figured out how to get them to stop.

I started doing the exact same thing to them -- at funerals.

Animals and People

Joke Time

The family owned a small farm on the prairies in Canada -- or was it the United States? No question whatsoever of their ownership, they had been on the land for generations: but a slight dispute about the border, which had been going on almost as long.

The current matriarch of the family, who lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren, had just celebrated her ninetieth birthday.

One day, her son came into her room holding a letter. News from the government: the Canadian government had finally come to an agreement with Washington DC.

"They decided that our land is really part of the United States. We have the right to approve or disapprove the agreement. What do you think?"

"What do I think?" asked the grandmother. "Jump at it! Call them right now and tell them we accept! I don't think I could stand another one of those Canadian winters."

Sign Fun

Joke Time

Have you ever had any accidents?" the insur­ance agent asked the cowboy.

"Nope," the wrangler replied, "though a bronc kicked in two of my ribs last year; a bull gored me a while back and I sprained my shoulder when my horse threw me."

"Wouldn't you call those accidents?"

"Naw. They did it on purpose.

Swing Crash

Joke Time

What is the real reason the Ten Command­ments have been banned from America's public buildings?

It creates a hostile work environment to post THOU SHALT NOT STEAL, THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY and THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians.

Video - Cow Tongue

Joke Time

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.

After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, “What’s the story?”

He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor.”

She asks, “How often do I have to do that?”