Wednesday, February 03, 2021

A few really old Playboy Party Jokes (Adult themes)

 As dawn broke, the girl, minus panties and suffering from a hangover, flopped wearily onto her bed. "Hell," she mumbled as her roommate opened one eye, "I think I've been had again. Just how legal is a quickie marriage in a Mexican restaurant?"
We've heard of a guy who shot his wad in Las Vegas but didn't have time to stay around and try his luck in the casinos.
Jesus Christ: AKA the Messiah's handle.
"Baby," bragged the self-satisfied young man as he tucked in his shirt, "you were pretty lucky to have me make it with you. I've actually performed in several skin flicks."

"I'm familiar with at least one of them," replied the girl.

"You are?" exclaimed Mr. Ego. "Which one?"

"Shallow Throat."
Two college acquaintances who had been dating the same girl were comparing notes over a beer.

"All I've been able to do so far is kiss her good night," admitted one of the young men.

"That's all I've been able to do, too," said the other.

"Tell me," asked the first, "when you kissed her, did she say anything about letting you do more?"

"She may have," the other fellow rejoined, "but I wasn't hearing too well. Her thighs were covering my ears."
Down at the laundromat, a henpecked husband was bemusedly watching the assortment of clothes through the window of the front-loading machine. He saw a pair of his shorts whirl by with one of his wife's blouses, and then other pairs gyrated with her panties and twirled around with her bras. As yet another pair of shorts spun through a nightgown, he was overheard to mutter wistfully to himself, "I've had more action here in the last two minutes than I've had at home in the last two years."
"I want someone who'll do absolutely everything I ask for as long as I want," muttered the protective client.

"Lorraine's your girl," said the madam, "but it'll cost you five hundred bucks."

Lorraine, of course, insisted on the money up front, so the man handed it over and then proceeded to outdo Krafft-Ebing's kinkiest case histories in his successive exactions. Finally, he produced a studded belt and set to beating the girl with it mercilessly. After a time, she gasped, "I can't ... take much more! When ... are you going. . . to quit?"

"When you agree to . . . fulfill my next and final demand," panted the client. "Give me back my five hundred!"

The giant tackle had viciously slammed the ball carrier out of bounds directly in front of the visitors' bench. As the big man got to his feet, the opposing coach, choking back an expletive, gave him the finger.

"What'd I tell ya?" chortled the tackle to a teammate as they trotted back to line up. "We're still number one!"
"What time did you pull out this morning?" asked one bus driver of another as they washed up at the terminal.

"I didn't," said the other driver, shaking his head, "and I'm worried about it."

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