Joke Time

A man at the hospital is starting to get very nervous after having waited, alone, in a hospital room, for three hours. Finally the sound of keys at the door.

He calls out nervously: "What is wrong?"

"Mr Smith, we are sorry for the delay, but it took us a while to figure out what was wrong with you."

"And what is wrong with me?"

"You have E.D.K.T.M."Smith pauses. "What is that?"

"Every Disease Known To Man."

Mr Smith is shocked to say the least: "Uh -- w-w-w-w-w-what can be done about that?"

"Well, we are starting you on a diet of pancakes and pizza."

"How on earth can that save me?"

"It can't, but it is the only food we can slide under the door."

Cartoon Time

Joke Time

A man went to his doctor and said, "When I got up this morning I instinctively put on a pair of white gloves and called my wife Minnie. On the way to work I couldn't help singing, 'Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work 1 go.' And at the office I called my boss Grumpy. What's the matter with me?"

"Isn't it obvious?" the doctor said. "You're having Disney spells."

Redneck Fun

Joke Time

A neurobiology graduate student was working on his dissertation, and went to a brain store to get some brains to complete his lab study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brains offered at this particular store, and questions the proprietor about the cost of these brains.

"How much does it cost for engineer brain?" he asks.

"$3 an ounce," the shopkeeper says.

"That's not too bad," the biology student says, considering his budget. "How much does it cost for programmer brain?"

"$12 an ounce," the man says.

The student thinks about the cross-section he needs to make his study rigorous and asks, "OK, how much for a fundamentalist right-wing politician's brain?"

The proprietor lifts an eyebrow and proclaims, "$1,800 an ounce."

"Why is that kind of brain so much more?" the shocked student asks.

"Listen, pal," the busy shopkeeper says. "Do you have any idea how many fundamentalist right-wing politicians we have to harvest to get one ounce of brain?!"

Cartoon Time

Joke Time

MacDermott and MacDuff were sitting in the clubhouse on a raw, blustery day, thawing their beards in front of the fireplace while freezing rain beat against the windows. The pair was silent for a long time over their whiskeys.

Finally, MacDermott spoke, "That was quite a round of golf."

"Aye," MacDuff replied. "Same time next Saturday?"

"Aye," said MacDuff, "weather permitting."

Redneck Humor

Joke Time

Two cows are talking in the field one day. The first asks: "Have you heard about that mad cow disease that is going around?"

"Yeah," says the second cow. "Sure makes you glad you are a penguin, doesn't it?"

Cartoon Time

Joke Time

The newlyweds went on a cruise for their honeymoon and found themselves shipwrecked on an island where a tribe of cannibals lived. Nevertheless, the inhabitants were very welcoming.

In fact, when they found out the couple had just been married, the cannibals threw a party.

They toasted the bride, and then roasted the groom.

Fun Images

Reminds me of the Billy Beer that was

popular when Jimmy Carter was President.

Remember - rednecks is people too!

This farmer seems to be specially attached to his

sheep. Maybe they're just good friends, out

for a ride.

See elsewhere, in the archives,

the Roadkill Cafe Menu.

The poorman's shrimp.

The redneck version of a mobile home.

Take the country with you wherever you go.

Joke Time

A man in hospital who had recently undergone a very complicated operation complained to the nurse about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, the nurse was worried that he was suffering from post-operative shock. Concerned, she reported it to the doctor.

The doctor said not to worry about it. "Yes, he does have a bump on his head," he explained. "Halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic."

Cartoon Time

Joke Time

An Israeli recently arrives at London's Heathrow airport. As he fills out a form, the customs officer asks him: "Occupation?"

The Israeli promptly replies: "No, just visiting!"

Fun Images

You must know/love someone who talks too much

some of the time. Too bad we don't all come with

one of these that other people can pull for us,

and yet we can't reach it right away - maybe for

an hour or so,

This guy seems to have taken it literally

when told to put his head "where the

sun don't shine."

Quite a trick, if you can do it!

Some people shouldn't be allowed to dress themselves.

Maybe there should even be a law.

Would you stare if you saw this out in public?

Eyes are creepy things - hard to imagine having

one pop out on you. Makes this photoshopped

image especially weird.

I can't imagine anything worse than trying to poop

while someone is watching. Sort of like trying to use

a bed pan in the hospital. I never have made that

work.