Tips For the Country Club

1. Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.

2. Form a loose grip.

3. Keep your head down.

4. Avoid a quick back swing.

5. Stay out of the water.

6. Try not to hit anyone.

7. If you are taking too long, please let others go ahead of you.

8. Don't stand directly in front of others.

9. Quiet please ... while others are preparing to go.

10. Don't take extra strokes.

Well, done. Now flush the urinal, wash your hands, go outside, and tee off.

Fun Images

Cuteness of the Day: A Kitten and a Fan

World Record Highest Dive (172 feet)

Pendulum Alter Ego Facial Animations

This is a strange video, but it's just a short distraction from your otherwise boring day...

Fighting Show-Off

The fighter in this video does some show-boating before the bout even begins.

Ouch

A nitwit, featured in this animated GIF file, does some "post walking."

Joke - Two Monkeys

Two monkeys are taking a bath in a tub. One of them starts yelling, "Ooh-ooh-ooh! Aah-ah!"

The other one says, "Well, turn on the cold water then."

Cartoon Fun

Mount Etna Eruption - Download

A PowerPoint slide show of Mount Etna (Italy) erupting - some music by Enya in the background.

Click here to download.

Shower Gel Dispenser

I love this - I've already got a couple on order.

Nose Shower Gel Dispenser

The nose . . . blows! Just squeeze or press it and green shower gel oozes out of the right nostril. Gross and funny at the same time! Rubber nose attaches to flat surface with suction cups. Easy to fill; includes 5.3 oz. green shower gel and instructions. 9" high.

Click on the image to link to the website selling the product.

The Meaning of American Pie

Hot Bride Gets a Vote of Confidence

An ad for Head and Shoulders.

Hot Bride Gets a Vote of Confidence - The best home videos are here

Heather Mills - A Wealthy Woman's Boo-Boo

I saw an undocumented blurb on this in a magazine, then checked it out on the WWW. Star Trip has a couple of articles about Paul McCartney's ex-wife who has apparently chewed off more than she can swallow.

Here's the first bit...

Heather Mills has failed to hand over a multi-million pound charity donation.

The former model vowed to give "a large majority" of her £24.3 million divorce payment from Sir Paul McCartney to the Adopt-A-Minefield organisation, of which she is a patron, but charity sources claim they haven't received anything.

A source said: "They have waited in vain for their millions. She's had plenty of time, but sadly it's yet another untruth by the queen of lies."

Heather made the donation pledge in 2006 during divorce proceedings from the former Beatles star.

And then this...

Heather Mills has spent almost half of her £24.3 million divorce settlement in just seven months.

The 40-year-old former model received the enormous amount after her split from Sir Paul McCartney was finalised in March, and has reportedly since splashed out £10 million on properties and holidays and forked out £500,000 on staff wages.

Heather is so worried about her finances she has even asked Paul to buy her £4 million East Sussex home as she claims she cannot afford to renovate it.

A source said: "Heather has been moaning her money isn't going as far as she thought, but she's just burning her way through it. She reckons she has spent £10 million since the divorce and still doesn't have a finished house to live in."

Isn't it fun to watch the morbidly wealthy struggle?

A Forklift Accident

A security camera (no sound) catches a forklift driver ramming a car.

Just Water

A PowerPoint slide show of great photos with water in them and some obnoxious birds chirping and elevator music in the background.

Just Water.PPS

Good Doggie

This from Futility Closet...

This one is preposterous, but I have two sources, so here goes.

In the 1870s, visitors to a remote New Mexico sheep ranch discovered the solitary rancher dead in his hut. His records showed that he had been dead two years, but his flocks had actually increased since his death. How was this possible?

His dog had been tending the flocks in his absence. The rancher had trained him to drive the flocks to their pasture in the morning, guard them all day, and return them to their fold at night, and he'd continued these duties when the rancher disappeared, killing some sheep as necessary for food but faithfully tending the rest.

According to these reports, in 1879 the New Mexico legislature awarded the dog a pension for life as a reward for his fidelity, "and no doubt as an encouragement to all other shepherd dogs in that territory to be good and faithful."

I was first made aware of this post by the J-Walk Blog and John had this to say...

In an interview, the dog was asked how his life was during those two years. He replied, "ruff."

P.S. The photo used in this post is a random dog-sheep image found in Google Images.

Backflip From Basketball Rim

I often feature videos of people doing stupid stuff and paying the price. Here's a video of a guy who does something stupid and carries it off - one lucky dude.

Worst Olympic Swimmer

In this qualification heat, only 3 swimmers start out - and two are disqualified. The remaining swimmer barely makes it the entire 100 meters. This IS a funny video.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Airborne - Crash Landings

Advice For a Gun Fighter

A Very Old Joke - Frog

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name.

The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, " There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

(you're gonna love this)

The bank manager looks back at her and says...

"Why, it's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

Strange Human Shaped Fruit grows on Nareepol Tree in Thailand

This is strange - perhaps some shenanigans going on here. Still sort of interesting...



And here's a related video...

The Office Desk Dance

I think the language is Russian.

It All Comes Back To You

Eichhof Beer Commercial

Creative Idea

I am not an artist nor do I have a creative cell in my body, but on the site I link to below, Daily Danny explains his clever idea for creating some fun designs from old crayons. All that's needed are an oven, some old crayon pieces, a baking pan and some cookie cutters.

I thought this was neat!

DAILY DANNY

The Wheel of Fail

Things just don't go quite right.



Wheel of Fail #2 - I couldn't find it, but if I run across it I'll post it later.

Wheel of Fail #3



Wheel of Fail #4

Some Hollywood Bloopers

Fun Images

Only A Southener Knows

Only a Southerner Knows

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "have" them, you "pitch" them.
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Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess" o' any of them.
- - -

Only a Southerner knows the general direction of, and the distance to, "yonder".
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Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Yes ma'am, we'll dispatch the ambulance to your house directly."
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Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'.
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Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be anywhere from 1 mile to 20 miles.
- - -

Only a Southerner both knows and truly understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
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No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
- - -

Only a Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb -- and can instantly give you example sentences.
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And only a Southerner would find no irony in the fact that "y'all" is singular, and "all y'all" is plural.

Adam and Eve - The Alternate Ending

PG Rated

Milwaukee Tools Ad

This is pretty funny - a slow pit crew, but a pretty powerful drill.

New Year Balloon Pop

Here's yet another Shockwave download - a New Year's card - pop the balloons and celebrate the New Year.

Balloon Pop.Swf

New Year Card - Download

Another interactive Shockwave file for downloading from 4shared.com.

Click here.

The Five Greatest Things Ever Conceived Under the Influence of Drugs

This post references an interesting web site. For example, did you know...

John Pemberton, the Atlanta pharmacist that invented Coca Cola, claimed that the ingredient it was named after, the Coca leaf, cured everything from depression and nervousness to morphine addiction. If those purported effects sound familiar, congratulations, you could beat a chimpanzee in a game of memory. Coca is the leaf that produces cocaine, and like Freud, John Pemberton was incredibly enthusiastic about its "health benefits."

And there's a whole lot more about "Coke" and 4 other things on this site.

Click here.

Lunga - Contortionist

Lunga appears on a Dutch TV show...

There's Always A Way Out

A funny ad for the Digi Walker.

PG-13 rated.

The Onion Reports

Nation's Women Thank Sports Illustrated For Helping Them Make Well-Informed Swimsuit Choices.

Who would have guessed? Read the entire story by clicking here.

Note: The girl in the photo is just a random swimsuit model taken from Google images and does not represent anyone referenced in the Onion article.

The Perfect Couple - A Christmas Story

Yep - yet another Shockwave download - this one is an interactive story about the perfect couple on a Christmas road trip.

Perfect Couple.Swf

Christmas Game - Download

A simple little Flash game (for kids?) - try to get Jumbo through the obstacles in the road to get to Grandma's in time for Christmas.

Christmas Game.Swf

Interactive Christmas Card - Download

Another Shockwave interactive Christmas download - this one features total control over decorations, snow and music. Have fun.

Christmas Card.Swf

A Funny Ad for WhizBiz - Australia

This video is very suggestive - PG13-Rated.

Henrietta and Merna Can't Sing - Go Tell It On The Mountain

via Boing Boing

The Christmas Tree

This seems so wrong in oh so many ways.

Happy Christmas Disco

Christmas - Fun Images

Joyous Noel - Download

This download is a PowerPoint slide show in the form of animated Christmas cards over the song, "So This Is Christmas" by John Lennon.

Joyous Noel.PPS

The Christmas Kangaroo

Not for children...

An Oldie But Goodie

From In Living Color - Homey Clause

Santa's Reindeer - Downloadable

Here's another Shockwave Flash cartoon video for you to download for the holiday season. In this one, Santa and his reindeer are gathered around the piano. As you click on each of the deer, he/she contributes to the song being played.

Santa's Reindeer

Christmas Bugs

Santa Tackles a Shoplifter

Christmas Slide Show

Letterman: Top Ten With Jim Carrey

This one was very funny - with a great finish.

Obama Girl: Donate to the ASPCA

Funny.

Quick Christmas Joke

A small boy wrote to Santa Glaus, "Send me a brother."

Santa wrote back, "Send me your mother."

Christmas Cartoons

Tinklebells

Another Christmas Shockwave file for download from 4shared.com.

THIS IS NOT FOR KIDS.

In this one, Santa's gotta snoot full and he needs to stop for a whiz. Funny.

Tinkle Bells.Swf

No Littering, Please

The Slinky Dance

Bubblewrap For You To Pop

Another Shockwave file - this one features a sheet of bubblewrap that you can pop by clicking on each bubble, or set for manic mode and just run your mouse over the wrap to pop the bubbles rapid fire. An amusement that lasts for about 45 seconds.

Bubble Wrap.Swf

The Llama Song - Shockwave Download

This is a pretty silly little Shockwave song, but it's something to keep you busy.

The Llama Song.Swf

Christmas Mistake - Cartoon

Christmas - The Wrong Gift

Joke - Christmas Shopping

It was Christmas week and the judge was in a good mood when he asked the prisoner,"What are you charged with?"

"Doing my Christmas shopping too early," replied the defendant.

"That's no offense," said the judge. "Just how early were you doing this shopping?"

"Before the store opened."

Cartoon Fun