A beggar stood in front of a department store, trying to raise some money for a pint. An elderly woman came out of the store, stopped when she saw him, rummaged through her purse and came up with a dime. Dropping it into his hat, she asked, "My poor man, how did you get in this condition?"
"Well, ma'am, I was just like you. I gave away vast sums to those in need."
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Audio Illusion - Video
I've posted some optical illusions on this blog before - here's an interesting audio illusion...
Friday, August 29, 2008
Antiques Roadshow's Most Valued Item - Video
The is fascinating and the guy's expression is priceless. The item belongs in a museum.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Darwin Awards - Video
Darwin's theory of evolution is that the strongest, best-suited members of a species will survive and reproduce while weaker, less well-adapted members of a species will perish. Here is a video of some examples of people who should NOT, assuming they survive, be allowed to breed.
John Pinette - Comedian - Video
I don't usually post videos that are longer than a minute or two. I guess I have a short attention span. Seems to me that if you can't say what you need to say in 2 minutes, it isn't worth saying.
BUT - this video is about 18 minutes long. The comic is, to my way of thinking, very, very funny.
BUT - this video is about 18 minutes long. The comic is, to my way of thinking, very, very funny.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
A Real Sweet Guy - Olympic News
Some folks appear to be mean enough that they should be denied any air to breathe. Here's one...
BEIJING -- Cuba's Angel Matos deliberately kicked a referee square in the face after he was disqualified in a bronze-medal match, prompting the World Taekwondo Federation to recommend that he be banned for life.Link
Friday, August 22, 2008
Joke Time - Counting Nuts
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence . One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree , out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.
"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
"Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls."
The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk." When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me . . . . ."
The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord."
Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done."
They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.
"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
"Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls."
The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk." When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me . . . . ."
The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord."
Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done."
They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.
Traffic Cams - Not Just For Fun Anymore - Link
I guess there are just too many of us people on the planet. Everything is becoming impersonal. It seems that we no longer feel a need to interact - to discuss issues before we pass judgment. Now we can do it electronically - monitor others behavior using camera and computer. Separate you from your money without your even being aware that you are being monitored.
Isn't it interesting how the fine becomes the objective - not the crime. Check out the story on the manner in which Closed-Circuit TV is being used to increase revenue from speeders.
Link
What the Heck Is It? - Link
Okay - what the heck is it? Space age binoculars? Scuba-diving gear? An ear-wax cleaner?
Let me give you a hint - if your feet stink, you should probably look into it.
Link
Britney Spears live microphone in HBO Special - Video
I guess this has been posted for a while, but it's new to me. What Britney sounds like in concert without all of the background (music, backup singers, etc.)
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
How Did We Survive? Humor
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because, WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. And we were OK.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms........ WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
If YOU are one of them. CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!
James Bond Title Sequence - Link
In the original James Bond movies, starring Sean Connery, the title sequences were nearly as provocative as the movies themselves. Layers of images, almost in 3-D, danced over one another creating what were some awesome movie-making. Here's a bit of history on how they were made.
Link
Halfpipe Faceplant - Video
Another example in the ongoing series - The Stupids Step Out. In this version they allow their bike-riding child on a half-pipe with no safety gear. They probably won't be happy until the kid is dead or maimed.
Back-To-School Deception - Link
Looks like Wal-Mart needs to boost sales this summer. Nothing like lying to and cheating their customers...
My daughter is about to start kindergarten, so naturally we did some back to school shopping. Our state sales tax break weekend happened recently. When we noticed the local Wal-Mart had shopping lists not only specific to school and grade level, but to teacher, we were thrilled. We started tossing items in the cart to spend, spend, spend.Weren’t we a little surprised to learn afterwards that Wal-Mart invented those lists. Not only were we a bit surprised to learn they did not, in fact, base the lists on anything remotely suggested by the school. Wal-Mart, in fact, put items on the list that are BANNED from being brought to school.
Our daughter’s school said Wal-Mart makes up those lists on their own, and a number of items (such as crayons) are on a list from the school. A list of items parents are specifically told not to have their child bring to school. Seriously?
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Humor - What's Your Mental Age?
Alzheimer's test
The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University . Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 40 years of age cannot do it!
1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fart cat
9. This is busy cat.
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat.
12. This is seconds cat.
Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down and I betcha' you cannot resist passing it on .
The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University . Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 40 years of age cannot do it!
1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fart cat
9. This is busy cat.
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat.
12. This is seconds cat.
Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down and I betcha' you cannot resist passing it on .
Link - What's That?
There are some things you might just be better off not knowing. But here - if you can't stand it any longer - is all of the information you ever wanted to know about boogers. Nose candy. You know what I mean - the gold you strike when you go mining in your nostrils. From the Kid's Health website.
Link - Celebrity Dog Watcher
Do you like to read about celebrities? Are you a dog lover? Combine your interests and check out the web site - "Celebrity Dog Watcher."
Pictured here are Charlize Theron and Target's mascot - Target.
Video - Blind-Sided Kick
We tend to think of human beings as "civilized" and a little better than the lowest class of animal. But - it ain't necessarily so...
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Funny Images
Decorating a co-worker's cubicle...
What attracts young women to older men?
Australian Blimp...
Gotta go...
Saturday, August 09, 2008
Joke - It's Lethal
A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and all of us eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to? You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea."
The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake?"
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and all of us eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to? You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea."
The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake?"
Fun Images
The car must have been heavier than it looked...
Lotta Lips
Now THERE'S a new product!
Who's attacking who?
I've never had to have a toe towed!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)