A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"
"Of course. What may I do for you?"
"Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"
"I be glad to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."
She nodded and accepted the risk. "With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.
The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."
The official thought this answer was rather strange, so he asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
"I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."
It took a moment for the customs man to absorb the statement, but once he did he had a hard time keeping a straight face as he called out, "Next!"
Monday, June 11, 2007
Video - Security is Outsourced
Here's a funny video on the consequences of outsourcing. Note - the site on which this video is hosted has links to adult sites...
| Hosted on Flurl Video Search - Watch More Videos |
Video Link - New Technology
Here's a link to a Popular Science video on a computer interface of the future...
Click here to watch the video.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Joke - Insane
A DA stared at the jury, unable to believe the not-guilty verdict he'd just heard. Bitterly he asked, "What possible excuse could you people have for acquitting this maniacal criminal?"
The foreman answered, "Insanity."
"I could understand that," the DA said, "but all 12 of you?"
The foreman answered, "Insanity."
"I could understand that," the DA said, "but all 12 of you?"
Video - Is Your Friend a Wuss?
Note - the site which hosts this video has adult links.
| Hosted on Flurl Video Search - Watch More Videos |
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Video - Star Wars Deleted Scene
Here's a funny video of a mash-up of a Yout Tube video and a Star Wars scene.
Click here to link to the video...
Friday, June 08, 2007
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Humor - Creation Story
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Crème Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "And as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them.
And Woman went from size 6 to size 14. So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."
And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good."
Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds.
And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!"
And Satan said, "It is good."
And Man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMOs.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Crème Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "And as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them.
And Woman went from size 6 to size 14. So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."
And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good."
Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds.
And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!"
And Satan said, "It is good."
And Man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMOs.
Jokes - 3 Dillies
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
If it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan.
--------------------
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
--------------------
What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam".
If it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan.
--------------------
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
--------------------
What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam".
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
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