Showing posts with label bear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bear. Show all posts
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Friday, April 26, 2013
Monday, February 25, 2013
Friday, January 04, 2013
Wednesday, April 04, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Pope Joke
(Yes, this joke does involve the Pope - I hope no one is offended. Equally offensive is the manner in which Republicans are treated in this joke - but that's okay - none of them will understand it as a joke on them.)
The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the campground in the Pope Mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods.
A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the Whales" hat, and a "To Hell with Bush" T-shirt, was screaming while struggling frantically and thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly. As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican loggers came racing up.
One quickly fired a 44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp. Then using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.
As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic Environmental activists but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true."
As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies "Who was that guy?"
"It was the Pope," another replied. "He's in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom."
"Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all wisdom but he doesn't know squat about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait holding up, or do we need to go back to Massachusetts and get another one?"
The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the campground in the Pope Mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods.
A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the Whales" hat, and a "To Hell with Bush" T-shirt, was screaming while struggling frantically and thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly. As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican loggers came racing up.
One quickly fired a 44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp. Then using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.
As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic Environmental activists but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true."
As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies "Who was that guy?"
"It was the Pope," another replied. "He's in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom."
"Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all wisdom but he doesn't know squat about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait holding up, or do we need to go back to Massachusetts and get another one?"
Monday, February 02, 2009
Real True Story?
This is an actual inquiry sent to the Montrose (Colorado) Enterprise newspaper -- and published there on June 5, 1906:
Wants to Know
Kind and respected sir: I see in the paper that a man named John Sipes was attacked and ate up by a bear whose cubs he was trying to get ... in the mountains near your town. What I want to know is did it kill him or was he only partly ate up. I think he is a distant husband of mine. My first husband was of that name but I thought he was killed in the war. I have been married twice since. If it is him, you will know by his six toes on the left foot. He also has a spread eagle tattooed on his front chest and an anchor on his right arm. If alive don't tell him I'm married to Joe White because he never liked Joe. Maybe you'd better act as if I'm dead, but find out all you can about him and please answer back.
P.S. Was the bear killed? Also was he married again and did he leave any property with me laying claims to?
(As collected by The Fore-Kin Trails Genealogical Society, Montrose, Colorado)
Wants to Know
Kind and respected sir: I see in the paper that a man named John Sipes was attacked and ate up by a bear whose cubs he was trying to get ... in the mountains near your town. What I want to know is did it kill him or was he only partly ate up. I think he is a distant husband of mine. My first husband was of that name but I thought he was killed in the war. I have been married twice since. If it is him, you will know by his six toes on the left foot. He also has a spread eagle tattooed on his front chest and an anchor on his right arm. If alive don't tell him I'm married to Joe White because he never liked Joe. Maybe you'd better act as if I'm dead, but find out all you can about him and please answer back.
P.S. Was the bear killed? Also was he married again and did he leave any property with me laying claims to?
(As collected by The Fore-Kin Trails Genealogical Society
Friday, July 25, 2008
Man Saves Drowning Bear - Link
The J-Walk Blog reports on this strange story. Seems to me that the guy is lucky to still be alive. The link is below.
Friday, September 07, 2007
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