Joke time

I met a blonde in a bar last night and I asked, “What’s your name?”

“It’s K,” she replied.

“That’s sexy,” I said, “What’s it short for?”

She smiled and answered, “So I can spell it.”

Joke - Two blondes and their uncle

Bubbles and Barbie, two blonde sisters, had promised their Uncle, who had been a seafaring gentleman all his life, to bury him at sea when he died. Of course, in due time, he did pass away and the two blondes kept their promise. They set off from Clearwater Beach with their uncle all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded onto their rowboat.


After a while Bubbles says, ‘Do you think we’re out far enough, Barbie?” 


Barbie slipped over the side and finding the water only knee deep said, “Nope, not yet Bubbles.”


So they row a little farther…. Again Bubbles asks Barbie, “Do you think we’re out far enough now?”


Once again Barbie slips over the side and almost immediately says, “No, this will never do. The water is only up to my chest.”


So on they row and row and row, and finally Barbie slips over the side and disappears. Quite a bit of time goes by and poor Bubbles is really getting worried when suddenly Barbie breaks the surface, gasping for breath she says, “OK, it’s finally deep enough. Hand me the shovel."

Blonde Joke

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?”

“HELLLOOOOOOO……,” answered the blond. “They’re watch dogs!”

Blonde Joke

A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it,because the car had almost 230,000 miles on it.

One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon.

The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."

"That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I only can sell the car."

"Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will 'fix it'. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore."

The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic.

About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?"

"No," replied the blonde, "Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"

A Blonde Goes For An Interview Joke

A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics.

"So, miss, can you tell us your age, please?"

The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying, "Ummmm... 22."

The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?"

The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces, "Five foot four!"

This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics -- something the interviewee won't have to count, measure or look up. "Just to confirm for our records, ma'am, what's your name, please?"

The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about 15 seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying: "Mandy!"

The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, "What were you doing when I asked you your name?"

"Ohhhh, that!" replies the blonde, "I was just running through that song."

"Song? What song?" the interviewer asks.

"You know!" the blonde says. "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you...."

Who Get's There First?

There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals: a lion; a chimpanzee: a giraffe; and a squirrel, who pass by. They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree.

Who do you guess will win?

Your answer will reflect your personality.

So think carefully . . . Try and answer within 30 seconds and before looking at the answer.

Got your answer?

If your answer is:

Lion = What? You're a clown.

Chimpanzee = I see where you're going with this, but you're a few bricks short of a complete wall.

Giraffe = Long neck? I think you've been hitting a few "long necks."

Squirrel = you're just hopelessly stupid.

A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS.

If you got this right, congratulations - you can at least comprehend at a fifth grade reading level.

For those of you who got this wrong, obviously you're stressed and overworked. You should take some time off and relax! Try again next year.

The Blonde Police Woman - Joke

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The captain says they can't just turn her away, and orders the desk officer to ask her a few questions as if doing an interview.

Not having any idea what to ask her to disqualify her application, the officer asks, "What's 2+2?"

"Ummm... 4!" the blonde says.

Dang, the officer thinks, so tries a harder one: "What's the square root of 100?"

"Ummm... 10!" the blonde says.

"Good!" the officer says, deciding to switch from math to history. "OK, who killed Abraham Lincoln?"

"Ummm... I don't know," she admits.

"Well, you can go home and think about it," he says, "and come back later and tell me what you've figured out." He figures that's the last he'll see of her.

The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job

"Not only did I get the job," the blonde says, "but I've already been assigned to a murder case!"

Joke - Blonde Nightmare

A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours.

The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this". She goes downstairs.

The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says "The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?"

The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!

Joke - Blonde in Trouble

A blonde was driving home from work one day and as she approached her subdivision she noticed smoke billowing above the houses in the direction of her home. When she arrived home she discovered that it was indeed her house that was on fire. She ran to the back and into the kitchen where she called 911 to report the fire. They transferred her to the fire department and when the fireman answered the phone she screamed hysterically that her house was on fire and for them to please come quick.

The fireman said, "Calm down, lady. How do we get to your house?"

She replied "Well, don't you guys still have that big red truck?"

Blonde Joke

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heidi and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi, my name is Heidi, and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.

At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, and knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Frustrated, she says "Hi, my name is Heidi, don't you know you are losing some of your load!" and runs back to her car.

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says... "Hi, my name is Kevin. It's winter in Wisconsin and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK."

Blonde Joke

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