Interview with a retiree...

 Interview with a Retiree

How many days in a week?
6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

When is a retiree's bedtime?
Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it might take all day.

What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
There's not enough time to get everything done.

Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
The term comes with a 10% discount.

Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?
Tied shoes.

Why do retirees count pennies?
They're the only ones who have the time.

What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
NUTS!

Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

What do retirees call a long lunch?
Normal . . .

What is the best way to describe retirement?
The never ending Coffee Break.

What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

And, my very favorite....

What do you do all week?
Monday through Friday, NOTHING...

Saturday & Sunday, I rest.

Humor - Retirement

And They Ask Why I Like Retirement!

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

My favorite one:

QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Mon to Fri. Nothing, Sat & Sun I rest!

Joke - Retirement Plan

My brother sent along his new retirement plan. He wasn't too sure what direction to go, since he did a little research on other ideas. For instance...

If he had purchased $1,000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, he would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.

With WorldCom, he would have had less than $5.00 left.

With Lucent, he would have $3.50 left of the original $1,000.00.

But, with the purchase of $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, and then he drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling, he would have had $214.00.

Based on the above, he decided the best investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

It's called the 401-Keg Plan.