Showing posts with label train. Show all posts
Showing posts with label train. Show all posts
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Anger
Ever heard about a person so upset and motivated that they could lift part of a car to rescue someone? Well, here's a guy that is THAT angry!
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
On the move
Ever had this happen in a car when the car next to you starts to move? Strange sensation.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Just Missed Him
Caution - adult language ahead.
Perhaps one of the reasons I post so many videos of idiots is because I relate. It's amazing that so many of us manage to stay alive as long as we do. In this video, a train engineer gets the daylights scared out of him as he's not sure he missed the moron trying to run across the tracks just ahead of him - and he catches it on video.
Perhaps one of the reasons I post so many videos of idiots is because I relate. It's amazing that so many of us manage to stay alive as long as we do. In this video, a train engineer gets the daylights scared out of him as he's not sure he missed the moron trying to run across the tracks just ahead of him - and he catches it on video.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Monday, May 21, 2007
Humor - On The Train
These, allegedly are true examples of what conductors on the London Tube told passengers. Maybe they are, but it hardly matters: they're fun either way.
- - -
Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologize for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction.
Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E & B syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any.
Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. The bad news is that there is a points failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham , which means we probably won't reach our destination.
We are now traveling through Baker Street . As you can see, Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like that.
Beggars are operating on this train. Please do not encourage these professional beggars. If you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity. Failing that, give it to me.
Let the passengers off the train first! (Pause). Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care -- I'm going home.
Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with Please hold the doors open. The two are distinct and separate instructions.
Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors.
We can't move off because some idiot has their hand stuck in the door.
To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage: what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?
Please move all baggage away from the doors. (Pause) Please move all belongings away from the doors. (Pause) This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train: Put the pie down, four-eyes, and move your bloody golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your arse sideways!
May I remind all passengers that there is strictly no smoking allowed on any part of the Underground. However, if you are smoking a joint, it's only fair that you pass it round the rest of the carriage.
- - -
Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologize for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction.
Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E & B syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any.
Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. The bad news is that there is a points failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham , which means we probably won't reach our destination.
We are now traveling through Baker Street . As you can see, Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like that.
Beggars are operating on this train. Please do not encourage these professional beggars. If you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity. Failing that, give it to me.
Let the passengers off the train first! (Pause). Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care -- I'm going home.
Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with Please hold the doors open. The two are distinct and separate instructions.
Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors.
We can't move off because some idiot has their hand stuck in the door.
To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage: what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?
Please move all baggage away from the doors. (Pause) Please move all belongings away from the doors. (Pause) This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train: Put the pie down, four-eyes, and move your bloody golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your arse sideways!
May I remind all passengers that there is strictly no smoking allowed on any part of the Underground. However, if you are smoking a joint, it's only fair that you pass it round the rest of the carriage.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)