A little humor - very little

I thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus.

Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one.

It mainly affects those of us who were born prior to 1960.

Symptoms:

1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice.

2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail.

3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person.

4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you.

5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment.

6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished.

7. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND."

It is called the "C-Nile Virus."

Humor - New Virus Warning

Please pass around this new warning! This is a serious threat!
- - -
There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand:

This virus has been dubbed by experts in the field the "Worm Overload Recreational Killer (WORK)" virus. It is highly contagious and spreading rampantly. Be on your guard!

If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means, do not touch it! The consequences are severe: this virus can wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest retail outlet for either of the two known antidotes:

Work-Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE)

or

Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER).

Take either or both antidotes repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

Warning: Severe cases can only be cleared out with Liquid Intensely Quenching Ultimate Obliteration Remedy (LIQUOR), which has multiple side effects.

Your best remedy, as always, is avoidance. Approach possible WORK infestations with great care.

Humor - Bedtime Virus

Do not open any E-mail with the subject line - "Good Night, Sweetheart." It contains a nasty virus.

Apparently this one is pretty vicious.

It will not only erase everything on your hard drive , but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.

It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards.

It reprograms your ATM access code , screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play.

It will program your phone auto dial to call only 1-900 numbers.

This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.

IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING.

It will drink ALL your beer.

FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING??

It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company.

It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine.

If the "Bedtimes" message is opened in a Windows XP or Vista environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.

It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.

*** WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. ***

And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you.

Send this warning to everyone!!!

THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD!

Right now, as you read this, 17 Million people are having SEX!!! And look at you - you're on the damn computer!