Joke Time

Shortly after Bill Gates was killed in a freak ac­cident, he found himself being sized up by Saint Peter.

"Bill, this is a tough call. You've made great technological advancements with Microsoft, but you've also given us Windows 95. I think I'm going to let you choose between heaven and hell."

"That sounds fair," Gates replied. "Can I have a look at hell first?"

Saint Peter showed his guest a wonderland of sunny beaches, beautiful women, sumptu­ous food and an ideal climate. "If this is hell," Gates exclaimed, "I want to see heaven."

Saint Peter led the way through billowy clouds filled with angels playing golden harps. "Hmm," Gates pondered. "This is nice, but I think I prefer hell."

Two weeks later, Saint Peter went to hell to check on the billionaire. He found him shack­led to a wall, surrounded by shooting flames and tormenting demons. "Saint Peter!" Gates cried. "This is awful! This is nothing like the hell I visited. What happened to that other place, the one with the beaches, the beautiful women and the delicious food?"

"Oh, that," Saint Peter replied. "That was just a demo."