Whatta shame!

That's punny!

Poor puppy!

I never thought of it that way.

Quickie

And here's today's quickie...

Dimm: My cat's head is always drooping. I'm taking him to the vet.
Witt: Neck's weak?
Dimm: No, tomorrow.

I hope it was good for you as well.

Joke time

It was a pretty serious auto accident. Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt, his face smashed into the windshield.

In a strange twist of fate, he wasn't seriously injured, but something rather bizarre happened:

The cracked glass pinched his right eyelid and, when he bounced back, ripped the eyelid off. Unfortunately, the tissue wasn't saved for reattachment.

At the hospital, plastic surgeons weren't sure how to repair it. Skin grafts wouldn't do the trick, since plain skin isn't thick enough for the job. Then one of the surgeons noticed he wasn't circumcised. The thick, elastic skin there would be just the ticket!

Sure enough, the operation was a success and the new eyelid works just as intended!

But the true measure of success in any plastic surgery is: how does it look? It's not quite perfect, doctors say: while it works perfectly, he will forever be ...a little cockeyed.

It's a movie poster. Lemon meringue?

It's a cheap pun.

It's kind of punny.

All those wasted photographic pixels just for this silly little pun. Tsk tsk.

Ya gotta love a good pun

Quickie

Here's today's quickie...

What do you call twin police officers?
Copies
    ---Jonco Stl

Was it good for you too?

Joke time

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night.............


Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe....as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly, the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree.

Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to get her medical assistance.
Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from a large, old house. He approaches the door and knocks.

A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?"

"I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master is a doctor; come in, and I will get him!" Bob carries his wife in.

An older man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory.."

With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table.

After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. "Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more.

The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand pipe organ. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting melody fills the house.

Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano music. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise, marking the beat! He is further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit up straight!

Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory..

He bursts in and shouts to his master:


"Master, Master!.....The Hills are alive with the sound of music!"

Quickie...

Here's today's quickie...

I did a theatrical performance once about puns. It was a play on words.

Was it good for you as well?

It's a pun

It's a pun, it's Starry Night.

Quickie

Here's today's quickie...

Did you hear about the new pill? It makes you feel good but has the side effect of making you dull. It's called Prosaic.

Was it good for you too?

Joke time

A man was fixing a door in his house and realized he needed a new hinge, so he asked his wife to go to the hardware store for him. When his wife was at the store, a beautiful bathroom faucet caught her eye.

"How much is that faucet?" she asked a young male employee who was standing nearby.

"It's made of pewter," he replied, "so it costs $750."

"My goodness, that is expensive," she said.

She then proceeded to describe to the young man the hinge her husband had sent her to buy, and the employee went to the next aisle to find it for her.

"Ma'am, do you want a screw for that hinge?" he called out as he walked away.

"No, not really," she answered, "but I would for that faucet."

Quickie

Here's today's quickie...

I would like to go to Holland someday. Wooden Shoe?

Was it good for you as well?

Quickie

Here's today's quickie...

Did you hear that NASA has launched several Holsteins into low earth orbit?It was the herd shot around the world.

Was it good for you as well?

Quickie

Here's today's quickie...

This duck walks into a drugstore and he says, "Gimme some Chapstick and put it on my bill."

Was it good for you as well?

The mean poop! Heh.

Don't step in it!